A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar, turns to the astonished patrons, and says ”I’ll make you a deal. I’ll open this alligator’s mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He’ll then open his mouth and I’ll remove my privates unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink.”
The crowd murmurs their approval. The man stands up on the bar, drops his trousers, and places his privates in the alligator’s open mouth. The gator closes his mouth as the crowd gasps. After a minute, the man grabs a beer bottle and raps the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opens his mouth and the man removes his genitals, unscathed as promised.
The crowd cheers and the first of his free drinks is delivered. The man stands up and announces, ”I’ll pay anyone one hundred dollars who’s willing to give this a try.”
A hush falls over the crowd. After a while, a hand goes up in the back of the bar. A buxom young blonde woman timidly speaks up. ”I’ll try it, but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle.”
A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar-
Cheese Sandwich: Ł1. 50
Chicken Sandwich: Ł2. 50
Hand Job: Ł10. 00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men.
”Yes?” she enquires with a knowing smile, ”can I help you?”
”I was wondering”, whispers the man, ”Are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?”
”Yes”, she purrs, ”I am.”
The man replies ”Well wash your bloody hands, I want a cheese sandwich!”