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What do you call a German Lesbian?

A Kraut muncher.


Joke #489 posted in the category: German jokes.

German Shepard on Golf Course A golf pro was helping this attractive young woman with her swing when his zipper got caught in the rhinestones on the back of her skirt. Needless to say this was embarrassing to both of them since their relationship had been purely platonic. They decided to walk together in this lock-step back to the clubhouse where certainly a pair of needle-nosed pliers would fix the problem. Just as they turned the corner to the clubhouse a German Shepherd ran up and threw a bucket of water on them.


Joke #1279 posted in the category: German jokes.

A German shepherd went to a Western Union office, took out a blank form and wrote, ”Woof.. woof.. woof.. woof.. woof.. woof.. woof.. woof... woof.” The clerk examined the paper and told the dog, ”There are only nine words here. You could send another ’woof’ for the same price.” The dog replied ”What, and ruin the punchline?!”


Joke #1344 posted in the category: German jokes.

The German controllers at Frankfurt Airport

were often short-tempered. They not only expected you to know your

parking location but how to get there without any assistance from

them. So

it was with some amusement that we (PanAm 747) listened to

the following

exchange between Frankfurt ground and a British Airways

747 (radio call

Speedbird 206) after landing.

Speedbird 206:

”Good morning Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of the


Ground: ”Guten morgan, taxi to your gate.”

The British Airways 747

pulls onto the main taxiway and stops.

Ground: ”Speedbird, do you not

know where you are going?”

Speedbird 206: ”Stand by, ground, I’m

looking up the gate location


Ground (with typical German

impatience): ”Speedbird 206, have you

never flown to Frankfurt


Speedbird 206 (coolly): ”Yes, in 1944. But I didn’t stop.”


Joke #6612 posted in the category: German jokes.

A big, mean looking biker ties up a nasty german shepard in front of a bar, walks on in, sets down, and orders a beer. Shortly after, a gay man walks in and asks, ”who owns that thweet doggie tied up in front?” The biker growls ”its mine, who wants to know?” The gay man replys ”well, my poodle iths killing it.” ”What,” the biker roars with laughter, ”the hell are you talking about? There is no way in hell your poodle can kill my german shepard!” ”Oh yeth there iths. Your dog iths choking on it!”


Joke #10646 posted in the category: German jokes.

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