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Grandmother jokes


What is the difference between an elephant and a Greek grandmother?

Ten pounds and a moustache.

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Joke #4307 posted in the category: Grandmother jokes.

A little boy needs to use the bathroom, but he’ll only go if his grandmother helps him.

”Daddy, I have to pee, ” he says to his father. ”Go get Grandma. ”

”Don’t bother Grandma, ” the father says. ”I’ll take you to the bathroom. ”

”No! ” the boy whines. ”Grandma! ”

”Why must you always go to the bathroom with Grandma? ” the father asks.

”Because her hand shakes. ”

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Joke #17551 posted in the category: Grandmother jokes.

Once there was an old grandmother who believed in taboo. On New Year’s Year’s Day and other festival days, she would try only to say nice things, and never let the word ”no” rashly fall from her mouth.

One lunar New Year’s Day, as soon as the granddaughter passed her a bowl of sweet rice porridge. She drank it up joyfully.

”Grandma, will you take another bowl of rice porridge?” , asked the granddaughter.

”All right,” replied the grandmother.

The little girl passed her the second bowl of rice porridge and quickly she drank it.

”Some more rice porridge?” , asked the granddaughter.

The grandmother thought that during New Year’s Day she couldn’t say ”no”, and so she replied promptly, ”O. K. , I’ll drink a third bowl.” In this way the grandmother drank six bowls, and her stomach was like a big drum.

The little girl who wasn’t very sensible still asked persistently. ”Grandma, would you like to drink some more sweet rice porridge?”

The grandmother couldn’t help shaking her hand, and said hurriedly, ”No, no, no more, no more!” If I drink any more, I’ll bloat me to death.”

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Joke #20119 posted in the category: Grandmother jokes.

A Jewish grandmother is watching her grandchild playing on the beach when a huge wave comes and takes him out to sea. She pleads, ”please God, save my only grandson. I beg of you, bring him back.” And a big wave comes and washes the boy back onto the beach, good as new. She looks up to heaven and says: ”He had a hat!”

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Joke #20646 posted in the category: Grandmother jokes.

Little Bruno was sitting in his grandmother’s kitchen, watching her prepare the Thanksgiving meal.

”What are you doing?” Bruno asked.

”Oh, I’m just stuffing the turkey,” his grandmother replied.

”That’s cool!” Bruno said. ”Are you going to hang it next to the deer?”

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Joke #25146 posted in the category: Grandmother jokes.

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