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Groundhog Day jokes


11. It’s on nearly every calendar.

10. Helps relieve cabin fever.

9. Spring or not, it’s six weeks till St Urho’s Day.

8. Forecast is no less reliable than the National Weather Service.

7. At least one of them critters is bound to see things your way.

6. Valentine’s Day is too depressing for nerds.

5. Unlike the Easter bunny, he keeps his dirty paws outside.

4. As they used to say on radio: ”The Shadow knows”.

3. It’s fun to say ”Punxsutawney”.

2. If a rodent can bring us an early spring, more power to him.

1. In Minnesota, either way we come out ahead.

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Joke #33958 posted in the category: Groundhog Day jokes.

Pig farmers have never done well in the United States. Most Americans prefer beef to pork. Hamburger is an American favorite but contains no ham. The porcine raisers were hopeful to see a significant increase in their business after the scares about health over beef, but most of the benefits had gone to the poultry and fish industries, Sale of ham and bacon remained virtually unchanged.

Because of this, The National Porcine Association hired a major Madison Avenue advertising firm to boost sale of pork products. They decided on an intensive campaign to saturate magazines television and radio with ads urging people to eat pork patties.

The campaign was given an extra boost when Congress was convinced to designate the second of February as the day when every family would be urged to eat pork sausage. That day would be celebrated nationally, of course, as... Ground Hog Day.

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Joke #33959 posted in the category: Groundhog Day jokes.

Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, ”I’ll bet you don’t know what day this is.”

”Of course I do,” he answered as if he was offended, and left for the office.

At 10: 00 a. m. , the doorbell rang and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box of a dozen long stemmed red roses. At 1: 00 p. m. , a foil-wrapped, two-pound box of her favorite chocolates was delivered. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress.

The woman couldn’t wait for her husband to come home.

”First the flowers, then the chocolates and then the dress!” she exclaimed.

”I’ve never had a more wonderful Groundhog Day in my life!”

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Joke #33960 posted in the category: Groundhog Day jokes.

Q: What would you get if you crossed February 2 with a puppy?
A: Ground-dog Day!

Q: What happened when the groundhog met the dogcatcher?
A: He became a pound hog!

Q: What happens if the ground log sees its shadow?
A: We’ll have six more weeks of splinters!

Q: Why was the groundhog depressed about his den?
A: He was having a bad lair day!

Q: What would you get if you crossed February 2 with a Christmas drink?
A: Ground Nog Day!

Q: What’s green, has four legs, and jumps out of its hole on February 2?
A: The ground frog!

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Joke #33961 posted in the category: Groundhog Day jokes.

Paris, France

February 2, 2007

Groundhog Day - Not to be outdone by the Americans, UN officials held their own Groundhog Day.

In their own Groundhog Day ceremony, the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC), tying in reports on global warming, announced that there would be six more weeks of winter.

... followed by 1000 years of summer.

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Joke #33962 posted in the category: Groundhog Day jokes.

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