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A highly timid little man, Casper Milquetoast, ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, ’Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?’ A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on his stool, looked down at the quivering little man and said, ’It’s my dog. Why?’ ’Well,’ squeaked the little man, obviously very nervous, ’I believe my dog just killed it, sir.’ ’What?’ roared the big man in disbelief. ’What in the hell kind of dog do you have?’ ’Sir,’ answered the little man, ’It’s a four week old puppy.’ ’Bull!’ roared the biker, ’How could your puppy kill my Doberman?’ ’It appears that he choked on it, sir.’

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Joke #4172 posted in the category: Hell jokes.

A drunken man gets on the bus late one night, staggers up the aisle, and sits next to an elderly woman.
She looks the man up and down and says, ”I’ve got news for you. You’re going straight to hell!”
The man jumps up out of his seat and shouts, ”Man, I’m on the wrong bus!”

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Joke #7030 posted in the category: Hell jokes.

In Computer Heaven:

The management is from Intel,

The design and construction is done by Apple,

The marketing is done by Microsoft,

IBM provides the support,

Gateway determines the pricing.

In Computer Hell:

The management is from Apple,

Microsoft does design and construction,

IBM handles the marketing,

The support is from Gateway,

Intel sets the price.

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Joke #16897 posted in the category: Hell jokes.

A German chap asks a prostitute for a shag and she tells him it’s 50 dollars. ’Fine’ he says, ’but I’m a bit kinky.’ She agrees that this is OK as long as he doesn’t do anything violent.

They get back to her flat and he gets out four big springs attached to some straps. ’I want

you to put one of these on each elbow and one on each knee’ he asks. The prostitute is worried that she’s getting into something a bit heavy, but she goes along with his request.

Then she is told to get down on all fours, naked, in front of him whom she does grudgingly.

Then he asks her to start bouncing up and down on the springs and finally he takes a duck

call whistle from his pocket. ’Blow on this while I am shagging you’ he tells her. So he’s banging away at her from behind while she’s bouncing on the springs blowing the duck whistle. Suddenly she starts to enjoy the shagging, so much so in fact that she experiences the most fantastic orgasm she’s ever had. After they’ve finished she says ’Wow, that was the most fantastic sex I’ve had in 25 years on the game, how the hell did you make it so good?’

’Ah,’ he replies, ’Foursprung Duck Technique’

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Joke #23573 posted in the category: Hell jokes.

Dr. Schlambaugh, a senior lecturer at the Chemical Engineering

Department, University of Oklahoma, is known for posing questions on

final exams like: ”Why do airplanes fly?”

In May a few years ago, the ”Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer ” exam

paper contained the question:

”Is Hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof.”

Most students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law or

similar. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we must postulate that if souls exist, they must have some mass.

If they do, then a mole of souls also must have a mass. So, at what rate

are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think

we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it does not leave.

Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for souls entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that

exist in the world today. Some religions say that if you are not a

member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than

one of these religions, and people do not belong to more than one

religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to Hell. With

the birth and death rates what they are, we can expect the number of

souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of

change in the volume of Hell. Boyle’s Law states that in order for the

temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass

of the souls and volume needs to stay constant.

[Answer 1] So, if Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at

which souls enter Hell, then the temperature in Hell will increase until

all Hell breaks loose.

[Answer 2] Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the

increase in souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop

until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate (given to me by Teresa Banyan

during freshman year) that ”it’ll be a cold day in Hell before I sleep

with you”, and taking into account that I still have not succeeded in

having sexual relations with her, then [Answer 2] cannot be correct;

...... thus, Hell is exothermic.

The student got the only A.

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Joke #28232 posted in the category: Hell jokes.

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