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Holiday and Special Days jokes


A man was driving down a country road one day at 45 miles per hour when suddenly he noticed a 3-legged turkey running at the same speed beside his truck. Though he thought this odd, the man decided to speed up so he wouldn’t cause an accident with the turkey.

The man sped up to 55 miles per hour, but low and behold, so did the 3-legged turkey.

The man then sped up to 65 miles per hour only to again be equaled in speed by the 3-legged turkey.

As the man watched in amazement, the turkey suddenly made a sharp left turn and took off down a side road toward a small farm.

The man quickly also made the left turn and followed the turkey to the small farm, parking out front.

Looking around the man found the farmer around back in the midst of many 3-legged turkeys.

After greeting the farmer, the man asked him why he was raising 3-legged turkeys.

”Well we figure,” said the farmer, ”that with an average family of 3 people, only 2 can have a turkey leg with an average turkey. But with a three legged turkey, each member of the family can enjoy a turkey leg for of their own on Thanksgiving.”

”That’s pretty wise,” said the man, who then asked ”Well how do your 3-legged turkeys taste?”

”I don’t know,” said the farmer. ”We’ve never been able to catch one.”

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Joke #255 posted in the category: Holiday and Special Days jokes.

if the pilgrams ate cats unstead of turkey we would all be eating pussy on thanksgiving

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Joke #498 posted in the category: Holiday and Special Days jokes.

Santa Claus brings poor Rudolph to the vet. He says to the vet, ”Doctor, please do something for my Rudolph. His nose won’t light up.” The vet walks out of the room and returns with a pet carrier. He places the pet carrier next to the reindeer, opens it and out steps a cat. The cat walks around the reindeer and sniffs it. The cat then walks back into the carrier. The animal doctor takes it out of the room and returns. He hands Santa Claus the bill. Santa gasps, ”$350 dollars! You didn’t do anything for my Rudolph and you’re charging me $350 dollars?” The vet shrugged and replied, ”That’s the usual charge. $50 dollars for the office visit and $300 dollars for the CAT SCAN.”

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Joke #702 posted in the category: Holiday and Special Days jokes.

The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout. Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line. When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, ”You’re terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I’ll see to it that you get a huge bonus.” ”Forget the bonus,” the turkey said, ”All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?”

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Joke #805 posted in the category: Holiday and Special Days jokes.

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing ”Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.

His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says ”I’m sending out 1, 000 Valentine cards signed, ’Guess who?’ ” ”But why?” asks the man. ”I’m a divorce lawyer.

-59+

Joke #809 posted in the category: Holiday and Special Days jokes.

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