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Horse Racing jokes

Some race horses staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. ”In the last 15 races, I’ve won 8 of them!”

Another horse breaks in, ”Well in the last 27 races, I’ve won 19!!”

”Oh that’s good, but in the last 36 races, I’ve won 28!” , says another, flicking his tail.

At this point, they notice that a greyhound dog has been sitting there listening. ”I don’t mean to boast,” says the greyhound, ”but in my last 90 races, I’ve won 88 of them!”

The horses are clearly amazed. ”Wow!” says one, after a hushed silence. ”A talking dog.


Joke #4167 posted in the category: Horse Racing jokes.

Why is horse racing so romantic?

Because the

horse hugs the rails, the jockey puts his arms around the

horse and

you can kiss your money goodbye!


Joke #5021 posted in the category: Horse Racing jokes.

A blonde tries to go horseback riding even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into action. It gallops along at a steady rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to lose her grip and starts to slide in the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the mane but can’t seem to get firm grip.

She tries to throw her arms around the horses neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to it’s slipping rider. Unfortunately, the Blondes foot has become entangled in the stirrup. She is now at the mercy of the hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over again.

As her head is battered against the ground she is moments away from losing consciousness when, to her great fortune, the Woolworths Manager sees her and unplugs the horse.


Joke #5077 posted in the category: Horse Racing jokes.

Three race horse were boasting one day

First one said”I have won 20 races out of 30”

Second one said”That’s nothing!!! , I have won 25 out of 30”

Third one said”Both of you are losers. I have won 28 out of 30”

A dog who was listening to the conversation said that it was nothing and he had won all 30 races he raced in.

This surprised all the 3 horses

First one said that the dog was amazing.

Second horse said that this dog can be easily sold for a million $.

Third one said ”Yes, he can talk.”


Joke #5162 posted in the category: Horse Racing jokes.

David Beckham decides to go horse riding. Although he has had no previous experience he skilfully mounts the horse and appears incomplete command of the situation as the horse gallops along at a steady pace, Victoria admiringly watching her husband.

After a short time David becomes a little casual and he begins to lose his grip in the saddle, he panics and grabs the horse round the neck shouting for it to stop.

Victoria starts to scream and shout for someone to help her husband as David has by this time slipped completely out of the saddle and is only saved from hitting the ground by the fact that he still has a grip on the horse’s neck.

David decides that his best chance is to leap away from the horse, but his foot has become entangled in one of the stirrups. As the horse gallops along David’s head is banging on the ground and he is slipping into unconsciousness.

Victoria is now frantic and screams and screams for help!! Hearing her screams, the Tesco Security Guard comes out of the store and unplugs the horse!


Joke #29762 posted in the category: Horse Racing jokes.

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