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You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, ”I’m fantastic in bed.”

That’s Direct Marketing.

You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, ”He’s fantastic in bed.”

That’s Advertising.

You’re at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, ”By the way, I’m fantastic in bed.”

That’s Public Relations.

You’re at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says, ”I hear you’re fantastic in bed.”

That’s Brand Recognition.

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Joke #14423 posted in the category: Indian IT jokes.

Bill Gates was in India last year. He announced that Microsoft plans to release a Windows version in Hindi. Here are some of the Windows related terms that have been approved by Bill Gates to be used in the Hindi version of... Khidkiyan 2000:

( More appropriately Atyant Mulayam Khidkiyan 2000 )

Atyant Mulayam = Microsoft

Khidki = Window

Phaail = File

Bachao = Save

Aise Bachao = Save as

Subko Bachao = Save All

Mujhe Bachao = Help

Madad Pe Madad = Help On Help

Dhoondo = Find

Firse Dhoondo = Find Again

Hilao = Move

Chaara = Options

Bura sandesh yaa phail naam = Bad command or file name

Garbh girao, Firse koshish karo, Naakaamyab = Abort, retry, fail

chhavo = Tile

Aadmi Bhejo = Send Mail

Daak = Mail

Daakiya = Mailer

Bhaago = Run

Chhaapo = Print

Dekh Ke Chhaapo = Print Preview

Chipkao = Paste

Khaas Chipkao = Paste Special

Mitao = Delete

Kagaz Uper = Page Up

Kagaz Neeche = Page Down

Anth = End

Saaf karo = Clear

Sab Kuch Saaf Karo = Clear All

Makan = Home

Topi Ka Tala = CapsLock

Hathiyaar = Tools

Khuli Chaadar = Spreadsheet

Futaas Ki Goli Kha = Exit

Ped = Tree

Chooha = Mouse

Chooha Chalak = Mouse Driver (Software)

Tik-Tik Karo = Click

Idhar-se-Udhar, Udhar-se-Idhar Wala Danda = Scrollbar

Pardha = Screen

Pardha Bachanewala = Screen Saver

Krimi = Virus

Tika = Anti Virus

Karo = Do

Galthi = Error

Ghusao = Insert

Pahle Ghusao = Insert Before

Beech Mein ghusao = Insert Between

Baadhme Ghusao = Insert After

Chabi Phalak = Key board

Choohha Ka Bisthar = Mouse Pad

Avaaz Phodney Wali Cheez = Sound Blaster

Antarjatiya Jaal = InterNet

Baath Cheeth Dabba = Dialog Box

Chale? = Exit?

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Joke #15288 posted in the category: Indian IT jokes.

Learn ’C’ after marriage

==========================

struct Indian_female_professionals

{

double styles;

short skirts;

long time_to_understand_problems;

float mind;

void knowledge;

char non_co-operative;

}

struct married_females

{

double weight;

short tempered;

long gossip;

float hopes;

void word;

char unstable;

}

struct engaged_females

{

double time_on_phone;

short attention_on_work;

long boast;

float on_cloud_nine;

void understanding;

char edgy;

}

struct newly_married_females

{

double dinner_invitation;

short time_at_work;

long lunch_break;

void bank_balance;

char hen_pecked;

}

struct Indian_husband_wife_professionals

{

double income;

short tempered;

long time_no_see_each_other;

void love_life;

char money-making;

}

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Joke #15289 posted in the category: Indian IT jokes.

Report submitted by Banta Singh to his manager after completing his Y2K verification task.

Dear Sir,

Our staff has completed the 18 months of work on time and on

budget. We have gone through every line of code in every program in every system. We have analyzed all databases, all data

files, including backups and historic archives, and modified all data to reflect the change. We are proud to

report that we have completed the ”Y-to-K” date change mission, and have now implemented all changes to all programs

and all data to reflect your new standards:

Januark, Februark, March, April, Mak, June, Julk, August, September, October, November, December

As well as:

Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak Thursdak, Fridak, Saturdak.

I trust that this is satisfactory, because to be honest, none of

this Y to K problem has made any sense to me. But I understand it is a global problem, and our team is glad to help

in any way possible. And what does the year 2000 have to do with it? Speaking of which, what do you think we ought to

do next year when the two digit year rolls over from 99 to 00?

We’ll await your direction.”

Very Sincerely

Banta Singh

Y2K Project Leader

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Joke #15298 posted in the category: Indian IT jokes.

There is this good ol’ barber in some city in US. One day a florist goes to him for a haircut. When he is about to pay the barber, the latter replies: ’I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service.’ The florist is happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, there is a ’Thank You’ card and a dozen roses waiting at his doorstep.

This event is repeated till an Indian software engineer goes for a haircut. When he pays him, the barber tells him, ’I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service.’ The next morning, when the barber opens his shop, he finds a dozen Indians waiting for a free haircut.

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Joke #15300 posted in the category: Indian IT jokes.

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