You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, ”I’m fantastic in bed.”
That’s Direct Marketing.
You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, ”He’s fantastic in bed.”
You’re at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, ”By the way, I’m fantastic in bed.”
That’s Public Relations.
You’re at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says, ”I hear you’re fantastic in bed.”
That’s Brand Recognition.
Bill Gates was in India last year. He announced that Microsoft plans to release a Windows version in Hindi. Here are some of the Windows related terms that have been approved by Bill Gates to be used in the Hindi version of... Khidkiyan 2000:
( More appropriately Atyant Mulayam Khidkiyan 2000 )
Atyant Mulayam = Microsoft
Khidki = Window
Phaail = File
Bachao = Save
Aise Bachao = Save as
Subko Bachao = Save All
Mujhe Bachao = Help
Madad Pe Madad = Help On Help
Dhoondo = Find
Firse Dhoondo = Find Again
Hilao = Move
Chaara = Options
Bura sandesh yaa phail naam = Bad command or file name
Garbh girao, Firse koshish karo, Naakaamyab = Abort, retry, fail
chhavo = Tile
Aadmi Bhejo = Send Mail
Daak = Mail
Daakiya = Mailer
Bhaago = Run
Chhaapo = Print
Dekh Ke Chhaapo = Print Preview
Chipkao = Paste
Khaas Chipkao = Paste Special
Mitao = Delete
Kagaz Uper = Page Up
Kagaz Neeche = Page Down
Anth = End
Saaf karo = Clear
Sab Kuch Saaf Karo = Clear All
Makan = Home
Topi Ka Tala = CapsLock
Hathiyaar = Tools
Khuli Chaadar = Spreadsheet
Futaas Ki Goli Kha = Exit
Ped = Tree
Chooha = Mouse
Chooha Chalak = Mouse Driver (Software)
Tik-Tik Karo = Click
Idhar-se-Udhar, Udhar-se-Idhar Wala Danda = Scrollbar
Pardha = Screen
Pardha Bachanewala = Screen Saver
Krimi = Virus
Tika = Anti Virus
Karo = Do
Galthi = Error
Ghusao = Insert
Pahle Ghusao = Insert Before
Beech Mein ghusao = Insert Between
Baadhme Ghusao = Insert After
Chabi Phalak = Key board
Choohha Ka Bisthar = Mouse Pad
Avaaz Phodney Wali Cheez = Sound Blaster
Antarjatiya Jaal = InterNet
Baath Cheeth Dabba = Dialog Box
Chale? = Exit?
Learn ’C’ after marriage
Report submitted by Banta Singh to his manager after completing his Y2K verification task.
Our staff has completed the 18 months of work on time and on
budget. We have gone through every line of code in every program in every system. We have analyzed all databases, all data
files, including backups and historic archives, and modified all data to reflect the change. We are proud to
report that we have completed the ”Y-to-K” date change mission, and have now implemented all changes to all programs
and all data to reflect your new standards:
Januark, Februark, March, April, Mak, June, Julk, August, September, October, November, December
As well as:
Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak Thursdak, Fridak, Saturdak.
I trust that this is satisfactory, because to be honest, none of
this Y to K problem has made any sense to me. But I understand it is a global problem, and our team is glad to help
in any way possible. And what does the year 2000 have to do with it? Speaking of which, what do you think we ought to
do next year when the two digit year rolls over from 99 to 00?
We’ll await your direction.”
Y2K Project Leader
There is this good ol’ barber in some city in US. One day a florist goes to him for a haircut. When he is about to pay the barber, the latter replies: ’I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service.’ The florist is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, there is a ’Thank You’ card and a dozen roses waiting at his doorstep.
This event is repeated till an Indian software engineer goes for a haircut. When he pays him, the barber tells him, ’I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service.’ The next morning, when the barber opens his shop, he finds a dozen Indians waiting for a free haircut.