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Morris walked into an insurance office and asked for a job.

”We don’t need anyone,” they replied.

”You can’t afford NOT to hire me. I can sell anyone anything, any time!”

”Well, we have two prospects that NO ONE has been able to sell to. If you can sell to just one, you have a job.”

He was gone about two hours, and returned and handed them two checks, one for $25, 000 and another for $50, 000.

”How in the world did you do that?” they asked.

”I told you I’m the world’s best salesman! I can sell to anyone, any time, anywhere!”

”Did you get a urine sample?” they asked him.

”What’s that?” he asked.

”Well, if you sell a policy over $20, 000, the company requires a urine sample. Take these two bottles and go back and get urine samples.”

Morris was gone about 6 hours, and they were about to close when in he walks with 2 five-gallon buckets, one in each hand. He sets the buckets down, reaches into his shirt pocket, produces two bottles of urine, and sets them on the desk and says, ”Here’s Mr. Brown’s, and this one is Mr. Smith’s.”

”That’s good!” they said, ”but what’s in those two buckets?”

”Well, I passed by the Holiday Inn, and they were having a State Teachers Convention, so I stopped and sold them a group policy!”

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Joke #11529 posted in the category: Insurance jokes.

Private Jones was assigned to the Army induction center, where he was to advise new recruits about their government benefits, especially their Serviceman’s Group Life Insurance (SGLI). It wasn’t long before the center’s Lieutenant noticed that Private Jones had almost a 100% record for insurance sales, which had never happened before. Rather than ask about this, the Lt. stood in the back of the room and listened to Jones’s sales pitch.

Jones explained the basics of the SGLI to the new recruits, and then said. ”If you have SGLI and go into battle and are killed, the government has to pay $200, 000 to your beneficiaries. If you don’t have SGLI, and you go into battle and get killed, the government has to pay only a maximum of $6000.”

”Now,” he concluded, ”which bunch do you think they are going to send into battle first?”

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Joke #12437 posted in the category: Insurance jokes.

Sid Needham walked into an insurance office and asks for a job.

”We don’t need anyone” the manager told him.

”You can’t afford not to hire me. I can sell anything to anyone, anytime, anywhere!”

”Well we have two prospects that none of our agents has been able to sell. If you can sell just one, you have a job.”

Ole Sid was gone about two hours, and returned and handed them not one, but two checks, one for a $50, 000. 00 policy and another or $100, 000. 00.

”How in the world did you do that?” they asked.

”I told you I’m the world’s best salesman, I can sell anything to anyone, any time any where!”

”OK. Did you get a urine sample?” the manager asked.

”What urine sample?” asked Sid.

”If you sell a policy over $49, 999. 00 the company requires a urine sample. Here, take these two bottles and go back and get urine samples.”

Sid dashed out, thrilled with his success and eager to complete the job. He was gone about 5 hours and they were fixing to close when in he walks in with two five gallon buckets, one in each hand. He sets the buckets down, and reaches in his shirt pocket and produces two bottles of urine, and sets them on the desk and says, ”Here’s Mr. Swanson’s and this one is Mr. Frieden’s.”

”That is good” they said, ”but what is in those two buckets?”

”Well, I passed by the Holiday Inn and they were having The City Teachers Convention, so I stopped and sold them a group policy!”

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Joke #12455 posted in the category: Insurance jokes.

Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn’t long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones had almost a 100% record for insurance sales, which had never happened before. Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in the back of the room and listened to Jones’s sales pitch. Jones explained the basics of the GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said, ? If you have GI Insurance and go into battle and are killed, the government has to pay $200, 000 to your beneficiaries. If you don’t have GI insurance, and you go into battle and get killed, the government only has to pay a maximum of $6000.?? Now, ? he concluded, ? which bunch do you think they are going to send into battlefirst??

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Joke #12568 posted in the category: Insurance jokes.

I Had A Real Claim From A Person, That ”i Was Minding My Own Business When A Pedestrian Hit Me And Went Under My Car!”

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Joke #12677 posted in the category: Insurance jokes.

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