Funny Jokes db

Funny jokes for every day

Internet jokes


What did the parrot say when he was using the Internet?

P. Cs of eight, P. Cs of eight.

-0+

Joke #2740 posted in the category: Internet jokes.

Why are elephants no good at Net surfing?

Because they’re scared of the mouse.

-0+

Joke #4560 posted in the category: Internet jokes.

Hold mouse up to ear like a cell phone and yell ”I can’t hear you!!! You’re going to have to speak louder!”

Play Pac Man and state to person next to you, ”These new games are incredible!”

Practice ’spinning mouse mat on index finger’ globe trotter routine.

Put your monitor’s contrast and brightness on full. With wide open eyes yell ”It’s going to implode!”

Tell the cashier you wish to redeem your free 1000 hours and hand him a bag full of collected AOL promo CD’s.

Typing hard and loudly looking behind you yell, ”STOP MAKING ME TYPE THIS - IT WILL ONLY MAKE THINGS WORSE!”

Sit at the web terminal... without a chair.

Wheel your leather executive chair into Internet cafe and up to the computer with the largest monitor. Sit down, turn to the person next to you handing them a stack of papers, ”Get these photocopied right away, the president wants them by end of day.”

Casually look around the room for people in chat rooms, log into the same chat room and after a brief and somewhat disturbing conversation state ”Your blue jeans go well with your white shirt.”

Use computer’s speakers to play collection of Sesame Street MP3’s.

Dress up in ragged and worn clothes. Walk into an Internet cafe that uses Windows with squeegee and bucket, begin to squeegee monitors for spare change.

Draw two red lines on either end of the floor with a marker, recruit other interested racers and rev up your wheelie chairs.

Turn off the lights and have a Star Wars light sabre moment with your optical mouse. (Darth Vader sounds are encouraged for extra fun).

Show up in hand cuffs and gagged mouth. Use foot to navigate mouse and visit ’escaped fugitives guide’ web site.

Put 1. 44 disk in drive and have person next to you do the same. Place bets and EJECT - furthest disk is the winner!

In the middle of writing an email, turn monitor off and sigh ”Ahhh not again!!!” , turn monitor back on and utter ”Oh thank goodness!” . Repeat until you see concerned faces.

-0+

Joke #5581 posted in the category: Internet jokes.

Hold mouse up to ear like a cell phone and yell ”I can’t hear you!!! You’re going to have to speak louder!”
Play Pac Man and state to person next to you, ”These new games are incredible!”

Practice ’spinning mouse mat on index finger’ globe trotter routine.

Put your monitor’s contrast and brightness on full. With wide open eyes yell ”It’s going to implode!”

Tell the cashier you wish to redeem your free 1000 hours and hand him a bag full of collected AOL promo CD’s.

Typing hard and loudly looking behind you yell, ”STOP MAKING ME TYPE THIS - IT WILL ONLY MAKE THINGS WORSE!”

Sit at the web terminal... without a chair.

Wheel your leather executive chair into Internet cafe and up to the computer with the largest monitor. Sit down, turn to the person next to you handing them a stack of papers, ”Get these photocopied right away, the president wants them by end of day.”

Direct the web cam to your exposed erect cock.

Casually look around the room for people in chat rooms, log into the same chat room and after a brief and somewhat disturbing conversation state ”Your blue jeans go well with your white shirt.”

Use computer’s speakers to play collection of Sesame Street MP3’s.

Dress up in ragged and worn clothes. Walk into an Internet cafe that uses Windows with squeegee and bucket, begin to squeegee monitors for spare change.

Draw two red lines on either end of the floor with a marker, recruit other interested racers and rev up your wheelie chairs.

Turn off the lights and have a Star Wars light sabre moment with your optical mouse. (Darth Vader sounds are encouraged for extra fun).

Show up in hand cuffs and gagged mouth. Use foot to navigate mouse and visit ’escaped fugitives guide’ web site.

Put 1. 44 disk in drive and have person next to you do the same. Place bets and EJECT - furthest disk is the winner!

In the middle of writing an email, turn monitor off and sigh ”Ahhh not again!!!” , turn monitor back on and utter ”Oh thank god!” . Repeat until you see concerned faces.

Original material ”Internet Cafe Fun” Copyright 2002 Visca Corporation. All rights reserved.

-0+

Joke #5584 posted in the category: Internet jokes.

Q: How many internet mail list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Exactly five hundred.

1 to change the light bulb and to post to the mail list that the light bulb has been changed.
7 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently or to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.
17 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.
21 to flame the spell checkers.
49 to write to the list administrator complaining about the light bulb discussion and its inappropriateness to this mail list.
20 to correct spelling in the spelling/grammar flames.
32 to post that this list is not about light bulbs and to please take this email exchange to alt. lite. bulb.
69 to demand that cross posting to alt. grammar, alt. spelling and alt. punctuation about changing light bulbs be stopped.
41 to defend the posting to this list saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this mail list.
106 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique, and what brands are faulty.
12 to post URLs where one can see examples of different light bulbs.
8 to post that the URLs were posted incorrectly, and to post corrected URLs.
2 to post about links they found from the URLs that are relevant to this list which makes light bulbs relevant to this list.
15 to concatenate all posts to date, then quote them including all headers and footers, and then add pointedly, ”Me Too.”
6 to post to the list that they are unsubscribing because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy.
9 to quote the ”Me Too’s” and happily add, ”Me Three!”
3 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ.
1 to propose new alt. change. lite. bulb newsgroup.
24 to say this is just what alt. physic. cold_fusion was meant for, leave it here.
53 votes for alt. lite. bulb.

-0+

Joke #8684 posted in the category: Internet jokes.

Next page »
© Copyright 2017 funnydb.netfunny jokestop jokesbest jokes for everyone