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An investment counselor went out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized she needed an in-house counsel, so she began interviewing young lawyers.

”As I’m sure you can understand,” she started off with one of the first applicants, ”in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question.” She leaned forward. ”Mr. Peterson, are you an *honest* lawyer?”

”Honest?” replied the job prospect. ”Let me tell you something about honest. Why, I’m so honest that my father lent me fifteen thousand

dollars for my education and I paid back every penny the minute I tried

my very first case.”

”Impressive. And what sort of case was that?”

The lawyer squirmed in his seat and admitted, ”He sued me for the money.”

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Joke #9026 posted in the category: Investment jokes.

An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized that she needed an in-house counsel. The investment banker began to interview young lawyers.

”As I’m sure you can understand,” she started off with one of the first applicants, ”in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question.” She leaned forward. ”Mr. Mayberry, are you an honest lawyer?”

”Honest?” replied the job prospect. ”Let me tell you something about honest. Why, I’m so honest that my father lent me $15, 000 for my education, and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my very first case.”

”Impressive. And what sort of case was that?” asked the investment counselor.

The lawyer squirmed in his seat and admitted, ”He sued me for the money.”

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Joke #12278 posted in the category: Investment jokes.

Stock Market Investment tips for 2006
Get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks. Watch for these consolidations in 2006.

1. ) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.

2. ) Polygram Records, Warner Bros. , and Zesta Crackers join forces and become: Poly Warner Cracker.

3. ) 3M will merge with Goodyear and issue forth as: MMMGood.

4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become: ZipAudiDoDa.

5. FedEx is expected to join its major competitor, UPS, and become: FedUP.

6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become:

Fairwell Honeychild.

7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become: Poupon Pants.

8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will

become: Knott NOW!

9. Victoria’s Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under the new

name: Titty Titty Bang Bang

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Joke #14376 posted in the category: Investment jokes.

Get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks. Watch for these consolidations in 2006.

1. ) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.

2. ) Polygram Records, Warner Bros. , and Zesta Crackers join forces and become: Poly Warner Cracker.

3. ) 3M will merge with Goodyear and issue forth as: MMMGood.

4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become: ZipAudiDoDa.

5. FedEx is expected to join its major competitor, UPS, and become: FedUP.

6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become:
Fairwell Honeychild.

7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become: Poupon Pants.

8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will
become: Knott NOW!

9. Victoria’s Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under the new
name: Titty Titty Bang Bang

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Joke #14377 posted in the category: Investment jokes.

STOCK: A magical piece of paper that is worth $33. 75 until the moment you buy it. It will then be worth $8. 50.

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Joke #14378 posted in the category: Investment jokes.

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