Jesse Jackson got out of the shower and was drying off when he looked in the mirror and noticed he was white from the neck up to the top of his head. In sheer panic and fearing he really was turning white and might have to start working for a living, he called his doctor and told him of his problem. The doctor advised him to come to his office immediately.
After an examination, the doctor mixed a concoction of brown liquid, gave it to Jesse and told him to drink it all. Jesse did and replied, ”That tasted like bull shit!” The doctor replied, ”It was, Jesse. You were a quart low.”
More Jesse news... Public Statement by the Rev. Jesse Jackson Due to the great consternation caused by the revelation of my act of procreation, I accept my obligation to give an explanation to the population for my act of copulation. I gave in to temptation, for the anticipation of sexual gratification, that I could not obtain through masturbation, resulted in my fornication. I accepted her invitation, and provided her with excitation, stimulation, penetration, replication, and liberation. She provided lubrication (to avoid inflammation) and I wore condoms to avoid contamination. She cried for duplication but I insisted upon termination, in spite her fascination with variation. This has caused me great aggravation, and the agitation and provocation of the media has resulted in my humiliation, denigration, and degradation. My wife is considering castration, which would require my hospitalization. Pray that this matter will find culmination in my sanctification and rehabilitation so that my plans for nomination to my ultimate vocation will not result in revocation and termination. I hope this proclamation has provided illumination and verification and will prohibit further provocation. Sincerely, The Rev. Jesse Jackson-11+
Jesse Jackson And Bill Clinton Are Talking In The Locker Room Of A Health Club One Day. as Jackson Changed His Clothes, clinton Couldnt Help But Notice How Large The Size Of His Member Was.
”wow!” clinton Exclaimed In Amazement.” how’d You Get That Thing So Big?”
”i Just Whack It On The Bedpost Three Times Every Night Before I Go To Bed. it Grows A Little Every Time.” Jesse Explained
Late That Night, as Clinton Prepared For Bed, he Couldn’t Resist Trying Jesse’s Trick And Started Whacking His Dick Against The Bedpost.
”jesse, is That You?” Hiliary Mumbled From Under The Sheets.
The Reverends Jesse Jackson And Al Sharpton, While Visiting A Primary
school Class, Found Themselves In The Middle Of A Discussion Related To
words And Their Meanings.
the Teacher Asked Both Men If They Would Like To Lead The Discussion Of The
word ”tragedy.” So The Illustrious Rev Jackson Asks The Class For An Example
of A ”tragedy.”
one Little Boy Stood Up And Offered: ”if My Best Friend, Who Lives On A
farm, Is Playing In The Field And A Runaway Tractor Comes Along And Knocks
him Dead, That Would Be A Tragedy.”
no,” Says The Great Jesse Jackson, ”that Would Be An Accident.”
a Little Girl Raised Her Hand: ”if A School Bus Carrying 50 Children Drove
over A Cliff, Killing Everyone Inside, That Would Be A Tragedy.”
i’m Afraid Not,” Explains The Exalted Reverend! Al. ”that’s What We Would
call A Great Loss.” The Room Goes Silent. No Other Children Volunteer.
reverend Al Searches The Room. ”isn’t There Someone Here Who Can Give Me An
example Of A Tragedy?”
finally At The Back Of The Room Little Johnny Raises His Hand. In A Stern
voice He Says: ”if A Plane Carrying The Reverends Jackson And Sharpton Were
struck By A Missile And Blown To Smithereens That Would Be A Tragedy.”
fantastic!” Exclaims Jackson And Sharpton, ”that’s Right. And Can You Tell
me Why That Would Be A Tragedy?”
”well,” Says Little Johnny, ”because It Sure As Hell Wouldn’t Be A Great
loss, And It Probably Wouldn’t Be A Fucking Accident Either.”