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Jesus Christ jokes


JESUS WALKS INTO A BAR +HOLDS OUT 3 NAILS +SAYS TO THE BARTENDER CAN YOU PUT ME UP FOR THE NIGHT

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Joke #7887 posted in the category: Jesus Christ jokes.

Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who managed to get the most out of his computer. This had been going on for days and God, was tired of hearing all of the bickering.
God said, ”Cool it. I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job.”
So down they sat at the keyboards and typed away. They moused away. They did spreadsheets, they wrote reports, they sent faxes, they sent out e-mail, they sent out e-mail with attachments, they downloaded, they did some genealogy reports, they made cards, they did every known job. But just a few minutes before the two hours were up, a lightening flashed across the sky. The thunder rolled and the rains came down hard. And of course the electricity went off.
Satan was upset. He fumed and fussed and he ranted and raved, all to no avail. The electricity stayed off. But after a bit, the rains stopped and the electricity came back on. Satan screamed, ”I lost it all when the power went off. What am I going to do? What happened to Jesus’ work?”
Jesus just sat and smiled.
Again Satan asked about the work that Jesus had done. As Jesus turned his computer back on the screen glowed and when he pushed ”print it”, it was all there. ”How did he do it.” Satan asked? God smiled and said, ”Jesus Saves.”

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Joke #15074 posted in the category: Jesus Christ jokes.

There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:

1. He called everyone Brother.

2. He liked Gospel.

3. He couldn’t get a fair trial.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:

1. He went into His Fathers business.

2. He lived at home until he was 33.

3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his mother was sure he was God.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:

1. He talked with his hands.

2. He had wine with every meal.

3. He used olive oil.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:

1. He never cut his hair.

2. He walked around barefoot all the time.

3. He started a new religion.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:

1. He never got married.

2. He was always telling stories.

3. He loved green pastures.
But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:

1. He had to feed a crowd at a moment’s notice when there was no food.

2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn’t get it.

3. Even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was more work for Him to do.
Amen!!!

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Joke #20577 posted in the category: Jesus Christ jokes.

Why wasn’t Jesus Christ born in Australia?

Because they couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.

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Joke #22005 posted in the category: Jesus Christ jokes.

An old man in heaven comes up to Jesus Christ. ”Hello, young

man,” he says, ”would you help me look for my son?” Jesus Christ

smiles apologetically and says ”You know, sir, Heaven is very

big, and it is awfully hard to find someone here.”

The old man says ”No, I’m sure you know my son. He was very well

known and he had nails put in his hands and feet.” Jesus looks

at the man in awe and asks slowly, ”Father?!” The old man,

pleased at the recognition, says, ”Pinnochio?!!”

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Joke #31017 posted in the category: Jesus Christ jokes.

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