A teacher in a small Vermont town asks her class how many of them are John Kerry fans.
Not really knowing what a John Kerry fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raise their hands except one boy.
The teacher asks Johnny why he has decided to be different.
Johnny says, ”I’m not a John Kerry fan.”
The teacher says, ”Why aren’t you a John Kerry fan?”
Johnny says, ”I’m a George Bush fan.”
The teacher asks why he’s a George Bush fan.
The boy says, ”Well, my mom’s a George Bush fan and my dad’s a George Bush fan, so I’m a George Bush fan!”
The teacher is kind of angry, because this IS Vermont, so she asks, ”What if your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?”
Johnny says, ”That would make me a John Kerry fan.”
John Kerry, remember he ran for president a few months ago?
His grade point average at Yale was 76.
George Bush also attended Yale, his grade point average was 77. I thought 77 was pretty good considering Bush never showed up.
That’s not bad.... But speaking of presidents, President Clinton also had low marks... on his thighs.
- David Letterman
As John Kerry sails toward the Democratic nomination, new questions are emerging about President Bush’s service in the National Guard, like where he was for six months in 1972 and why he refused to take a routine physical. President Bush has vowed to get to the bottom of this right after Election Day. —Craig Kilborn-0+
Democratic strategists feel John Kerry’s war record means he can beat Bush. They say when it comes down to it voters will always vote for a war hero over someone who tried to get out of the war. I’ll be sure to mention that to Bob Dole when I see him. —Jay Leno-0+