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A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing ”Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.

His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says ”I’m sending out 1, 000 Valentine cards signed, ’Guess who?’ ” ”But why?” asks the man. ”I’m a divorce lawyer.

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Joke #809 posted in the category: Legal jokes.

What do you get when you cross a lawyer and a pig? Nothing, there’s some things even a pig won’t do!

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Joke #1381 posted in the category: Legal jokes.

Why won’t sharks attack lawyers? Professional courtesy.

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Joke #1382 posted in the category: Legal jokes.

Two tigers are stalking through the undergrowth in single file when the one to

the rear reaches out with his tongue and licks the bottom of the tiger in front.

The startled tiger turns around and says, ”Hey! Cut it out, all right!”

The rear tiger says, ”sorry,” and they continue. After about another five

minutes, the rear tiger again reaches out with his tongue and licks the bottom

of the tiger in front. The front tiger turns around and cuffs the rear tiger and

says, ”I said stop it!”

The rear tiger says, ”sorry,” and they continue. After about another five

minutes, the rear tiger once more licks the bottom of the tiger in front. The

front tiger turns around and asks the rear tiger, ”What is it with you, anyway?”

The rear tiger replies, ”Well, I just ate a lawyer and I’m trying to get the

taste out of my mouth!”

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Joke #2430 posted in the category: Legal jokes.

An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing. A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready.

”All set back here, Captain,” came the reply, ”except one lawyer who is still going around passing out business cards.”

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Joke #6500 posted in the category: Legal jokes.

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