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Lenin jokes


In 1967, the Soviet Government minted a beautiful silver ruble with Lenin in a very familiar pose - arms raised above him, leading the country to revolution. But, it was clear to everybody, that if you looked at it from behind, it was clear that Lenin was pointing to 11: 00, when the Vodka shops opened, and was actually saying, ”Comrades, forward to the Vodka shops.”

It became fashionable, when one wanted to have a drink, to take out the ruble and say, ”Oh my goodness, Comrades, Lenin tells me we should go.”

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Joke #30158 posted in the category: Lenin jokes.

Knock Knock

Who’s there!

Lenin!

Lenin who?

Lenin tree very pretty!

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Joke #30159 posted in the category: Lenin jokes.

During the glorious days of communism, to commemorate the visit of the Soviet President Andropov to Poland, the head of the Polish Communist Party commissioned a popular Warsaw artist for an oil painting celebrating the historical visit of Lenin to Poland. The piece was to be entitled ”Lenin In Poland.” Now this artist hated the Poland Communist Party and therefore also detested Lenin more so but since the pay was lucrative, he decided to accept the commission. Since there was no specific instruction on how to do the oil painting, the artist decided on his own.

So, after two months of work, the oil painting was ready for its unveiling. All the top brass and apparatchiks of the Polish Communist Party were on hand for the unveiling in the assembly hall. With the artist beside him, the party boss unveiled the oil painting. Instead of wild applause, there was a collective gasp from the crowd. Even the party boss was shocked speechless. For on the painting, there was a bearded man and a fat woman locked in a passionate embrace in front of a window looking into the famous Kremlin skyline.

Finally, the party boss was able to find his voice and glaring at the smiling artist, he screamed, ”The Communist Party commissioned you to paint Lenin in Poland. Instead you gave us this indecent debauchery! Who are those people? I demand an explanation!”

The artist explained, ”The bearded man is Trotsky and the fat woman is Lenin’s wife.”

”But where is Lenin?” insisted the party boss.

”Lenin’s in Poland.”

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Joke #30160 posted in the category: Lenin jokes.

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