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Lotto jokes


A Jewish guy called Jacob finds himself in

dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he’s in serious

financial

trouble. He’s so desperate that he decides to ask God for help.

He

goes into the synagogue and begins to pray

”God, please

help me, I’ve lost my business and if I don’t get some

money, I’m

going to lose my house as well, please let me win the

lotto”.

Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it.

Jacob goes back

to the synagogue.

”God, please let me win the lotto, I’ve lost

my business, my house

and I’m going to lose my car as

well”.

Lotto night comes and Jacob still has no luck!!

Back to the

synagogue.

”My God, why have you forsaken me?? I’ve lost my

business, my house,

my car and my wife and children are starving. I

don’t often ask you

for help and I have always been a good servant

to you. Why won’t you

just let me win the lotto this one time so

I can get my life back in

order???” .

Suddenly there is a

blinding flash of light as the heavens open and

Jacob is confronted by

the voice of GOD himself:

”JACOB, MEET ME HALF WAY ON THIS ONE, BUY

A DAMN TICKET”

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Joke #9179 posted in the category: Lotto jokes.

A guy named Joe finds himself in dire trouble. His business started going bust and he found himself in serious financial trouble. He was so desperate that he decided to pray for help.

”Oh Lord, please help me, I’ve lost my business and if I don’t get some money, I’m going to lose my house as well, please let me win the lotto”.

Lotto night arrived and somebody else won the prize.

Joe again looked up and prayed...” Oh Lord, please let me win the lotto! I’ve lost my business, my house and I’m going to lose my car as well”.

Again, Lotto night came and went and Joe still had no luck.

Once again, he prayed...” Oh, Lord, why have you forsaken me?? I’ve lost my business, my house and my car. My wife and children are starving. I don’t often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order... ”

Suddenly there was a blinding flash of light as the heavens opened and Joe was confronted by the voice of the Lord himself:

”JOE, MEET ME HALFWAY ON THIS ONE... BUY A TICKET!”

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Joke #18227 posted in the category: Lotto jokes.

One day, the wife comes home with a spectacular diamond ring.

”Where did you get that ring?” her husband asks.

”Well, she replies, ”my boss and I played the lotto and we won, so I bought it with my share of the winnings.

A week later, his wife comes home with a long shiny fur coat.

”Where did you get that coat?” her husband asks.

She replies ”My boss and played the lotto and we won again, so I bought it with my share of the winnings.

Another week later, his wife comes home, driving in a red Ferrari.

”Where did you get that car?” her husband asks. Again she repeats the same story about the lotto and her share of the winnings.

That night, his wife asks him to pour her a nice warm bath while she gets undressed. When she enters the bathroom, she find that there is barely enough water in the bath to cover the plug at the far end.

”And this?” she asks her husband. ”Well,” he replies, ”we don’t want to get your lotto ticket wet, do we?!”

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Joke #75141 posted in the category: Lotto jokes.

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