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Lovers jokes


Scott took his blind date to the carnival. ”What would you like to do

first, Mary?” asked Scott.

”I want to get weighed,” she said. They ambled over to the weight guesser.

He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale, it read 117 and she won a

prize.

Next the couple went on the Ferris wheel. When the ride was over, Scott

again asked Mary what she would like to do.

”I want to get weighed,” she said. Back to the weight guesser they went.

Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight, and Scott

lost his dollar.

The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to go next.

”I want to get weighed,” she responded.

By this time, Scott figured she was really weird and took her home early,

dropping her off with a handshake.

Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, ”How’d it go?”

Mary responded, ”Oh, Waura, it was wousy, he just wouldn’t way me.

--2+

Joke #126 posted in the category: Lovers jokes.

Each evening bird lover Tom Rowe stood in his backyard in Devon, England, hooting like an owl - and one night, an owl called back to him.

For a year, the man and his feathered friend hooted back and forth. Rowe even kept a log of the ”conversation.” Just as Rowe thought he was on

19d

the verge of a breakthrough in inter-species communication, his wife had a chat with next door neighbor, Nancy Hollis.

”My husband spends his nights... calling out to owls,” said Mrs. Rowe.

”That’s odd,” Mrs. Hollis replied. ”So does my John.”

Then it dawned on them.

-2+

Joke #5615 posted in the category: Lovers jokes.

A young husband and wife were sunning on a nude beach when a wasp buzzed into the woman’s vagina. The husband covered her with a coat, pulled on his shorts, carried her to the car and made a dash to the hospital. After examining her, the doctor explained that the wasp was too far in to be reached with forceps. He suggested the husband try to entice it out by putting honey on his penis, penetrating her and withdrawing as soon as he felt the wasp. The man agreed to try, but because he was so nervous, he couldn’t rise to the occasion. ”if neither of you objects,” the medic said, ”I could give it a try.”

Under the circumstances, the husband and wife both agreed. The doctor quickly undressed, slathered on some honey and mounted the woman. The husband watched with increasing alarm as the doctor’s thrusts continued for several long minutes. ”Hey, what the hell is happening?”

”Change of plans...” The physician panted. ”I’m going to drown the little bastard!”

--1+

Joke #11507 posted in the category: Lovers jokes.

Two Lovers plan to commit Suicide. They were going to jump off of a cliff. The boy jumped first. The Girl closed her eyes before jumping then changed her mind saying Love is Blind. The Boy, in mid-air opened his parachute saying Love never Dies

-0+

Joke #48335 posted in the category: Lovers jokes.

Two lovers were parked one dark summer night in Lovers Lane, when all of a sudden she said, ’Oh, don’t do that, or I’ll go all to pieces!’ He replied, ’Go right ahead... I’ve got my hand on the piece I want!’

-0+

Joke #57577 posted in the category: Lovers jokes.

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