Funny jokes for every day
A Lutheran minister is driving down to New York to see the
radio show and he's stopped in Connecticut for speeding. The
state trooper smells alcohol on his breath and then he sees an
empty wine bottle on the floor, and he says, "Sir, have you
And the minister says, "Just water."
The sheriff says, "Then why do I smell wine?"
And the minister looks down at the bottle and says, "Good
Lord, He's done it again!"
Joke # 25820 from category: Lutheran jokes.
A Lutheran minister is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut.
The state trooper smells alcohol on the
minister's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"
"Just water," says the minister.
The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"
The minister looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"
Joke # 43260 from category: Lutheran jokes.
You Might Be A Lutheran If...... your church library has three Jell-O cookbooks.... it's time to change a lightbulb and the left side of the aisle begins a debate on "change," while the right side of the aisle musters five volunteers--one to hold the bulb, and four to turn the ladder.... you laugh out loud while reading this list, and relive your childhood at the same time.... you think the four food groups are coffee, lefse, lutefisk, and Jell-O.... you can actually come up with responses to this.... you sign a petition to have Campbell Soup Co. rename its "Cream of Mushroom soup" "Lutheran Binder!" ... you actually think the pastor's jokes are funny.... the bumper sticker on your car says, "Legalize Lutefisk!"
Joke # 115150 from category: Lutheran jokes.
A Lutheran pastor, a Catholic priest and a Rabbi were fishing from a boat not from the lake shore. The pastor had to make a trip to the port-a-potty located on the shore, so he got out of the boat, walked across the water and in the same matter, came back to the boat after he was finished. A little later, the priest had to make the trip also. He got out of the boat, walked across the water, visited the bathroom and in the same manner, came back to the boat. Still later, the rabbi needed to go ashore. He got out of the boat and immediately sank. The pastor looked at the priest and said, "Do you think we ought to tell him where the rocks are?"
Joke # 115310 from category: Lutheran jokes.
You Might Be A Lutheran If...... a midlife crisis means switching from the old hymnbook to the new one.... you forget to put water in the baptismal font but never forget to put water in the coffee pot.... the pastor skips the last hymn to make sure church lasts exactly 60 minutes.... you make spaghetti at your house with the little macaroni noodles because they`re not so messy then.... you don't make eye contact when passing someone in the hall because you think it's impolite.... your choir believes volume is a fair substitute for tonality.... you don't know what was sooo funny about dat movie "Fargo" then.... in response to someone jumping up and shouting "Praise the Lord!" , you politely remind him or her that we don't do that around here.
Joke # 117094 from category: Lutheran jokes.