Ghat jokes ( A little knowledge of Marathi might help )
Q: What do you call a Maharashtrian in the U. S.?
A: Western Ghat.
Q: What does a Maharashtrian mean by ”fast food”?
A: Sabudana Khichdi.
Q: What do you call a Maharashtrian who makes air-conditioners?
Q: What do you call a Maharashtrian whose father is missing?
Q: What would you call Urmila in the role of a monkey?
A: Urmila MakkadTondkar.
Q: Which is the highest office occupied by Maharashtrians in the U. S.
A: That of the Vice-President - Dan Quayle(Kale) & Al Gore. :
1. Binglish (for Bombay_English).
2. Bhindi (for Bombay_Hindi)
3. This list is perpetually incomplete since the evolution of this language can never possibly cease.
4. Bhindi/Binglish: Pronunciations are in brackets following the words.
5. Chikna - Stands for any good looking fellow. Chikna actually means smooth.
6. Keeda - An absolute pest.
7. Jhakaas - Superb. Excellent.
8. Haila! - This originated from ”Hai Allah!” but I don’t think 99% of the users know about this. Haila would translate to ”Oh God!”
9. ChappanTikkli/Punter/Tapori/Shana - Roadside loafer. Tapori is among the most commonly used words in Bhindi.
10. Bevada / Gutter / Taankee / Batli / JohnnyWalker - A Drunk.
11. Saand - A boisterous or an exceeding brash guy.
12. Chotay - For any kid working in a Tapri. If the shop has more than one kid all would have to be Chotays.
13. Cutting - A little_morethan_half cup of Tea is a cutting. The Cutting concept would have been started by people who used to split a cup of tea between 2 people... and finally the tea vendor started selling half cup of tea and called it ”cutting”. A little_more_than_half is given to increase the patrons.
14. Dhapnya / Battery / double battery - Refers to a person wearing prescription glasses. Dhapnya is a Marathi word. The Ghati way of saying this would be ”bya-tree”.
15. Hajaam - Hajaam in its true sense would mean a barber. It refers to anyone with a moronic intellect.
16. Rappak(stress on”pp”) - means Slap. (eg. Kaan kay neechay rappak lagaoonga. )
17. Chinese Gaadi - No! this is not a Chinese make of an automobile!! It’s the ”Tapri” selling Chinese food on the side of the road. You find one after every 10 meters. The best part is that all these Chinese Gaadis are red in color, have names like ”Red Sun”, ”Red Dragon”, ”Fong’s”, or anything that sounds vaguely Chinese. The cook is normally a Nepali gurkha working as a night watchman in some nearby apartment complex. The only criteria to get a chef’s job at a Chinese Gaadi is to have slanted eyes.
18. Mahim - Matunga / Vasai - Virar - This is a term used for squints. M-M and V-V are neighbouring localities in Bombay. The origin of this term is unknown.
19. Ghungroo Salmaan - This term is very new but catching on fast. Ghungroo refers to a curly haired guy. Salmaan (Khan) comes in the picture since the ”Ghunroo Salmaan” fellow is obviously mistaking himself to be a Hindi film hero. It’s used as a put-down.
20. AndhaDhuni/Aadva-Patta - These are a cricketing terms. AadvaPatta comes from Pune, means ”Cross batted shot”. AndhaDhuni means ”Blind shot”. But nowadays these refer to any guy who doesn’t bat well
21. Ghaati - Ghaatis are the residents of the hilly/rural regions of Maharashtra. In Bhindi, a Ghati would mean any person whose mother tongue is Marathi. It’s quiet demeaning..... and thus heard more frequently.
22. Gujju / Ganda-Gujratis. The money men of Mumbai. These guys are easily spotted on the road - either in colorful shirts, embroidered trousers, against the mirror of a parked vehicle combing their hair, or something equally funny. These guys are the second largest community in Bombay after the Marathi-speaking people.
23. Madrasi - Madras is a place in the southern part of India. Madrasi refers to any guy from a place to the South of Maharashtra. Doesn’t matter where he is from. If he is from Bangalore he is a Madrasi. If he is from Kerala he is still a Madrasi. Doesn’t matter. And the best part of being a Madrasi is that you are supposed to eat idli sambar for breakfast, lunch, AND dinner. And rasam-chaval is supposed to be the favourite dish.
24. Pavwalla/Sausage - The Christians. This started because of the fact that they eat bread(pav) instead of chapatis. Sausage is a fairly new term and refers to a female (of the same faith). As Javed Jaffery would have immitated a Pav from Bandra: ”What man! One Fataak Rap only I’ll give you under your ear man.” ”Hey! What she is looking yaar. See see.” / ”Bloody I am scared or what? Go No... call anyone. Go Man!”
25. Gulti - This is a fairly new term. Used for people from Andhra Pradesh. The clue about its origin or actual meaning is the inverse spelling of telegu. (gu_le_te = gulti)
26. Bhaiya/Pandit - Any guy from UP / Bihar / MP / Delhi / Northern states is called a Bhaiya. Pandit is also used interchangeably but is mostly used for the guys at the Lassi/Doodh shops or for Panwallas.
27. Paapay/Papajee - A Sikh. Dont know what a paapay means. I am sure its not insulting or anything.
28. Bawa / Pestonjee - The Parsees. The most harmless. Jovial and great company. Definitely the most teased people on the Hindi silver screen. Every movie has to have at least one funny character called ”Rustom” or ”Pestonjee” who has to have a fat and an overtly boisterious wife. Incidently Parsees also are the most affluent and among the richest in the Indian community. Bombay is also called ”ParseeSthan” since this is the place where you find most of them.
29. Cheena/ Chapata / Nepali / Shaab-babu ( ’sh’ as in ’huSH’ )- Any slant-eyed guy is called Cheena or Nepali. Doesn’t matter if he is from Kerala and some genetic disorder messed up his eye. He would still be a Nepali. The best part is many of the north eastern states and even West Bengal have people with slant eyes. However, if they happen to land in Bombay, they would be from Nepal. The Chinese/Japs/Koreans all fall in the same category. Shaab-babu comes from the fact that these Nepali gurkhas call every other person they see ”Shaab-babu”. I wouldn’t be too surprised to find out that they call their parents that too.
30. Sai ( Saa-eeen - the second part is increasingly nasal ) - The Sindhis. The Partition-time migrants from Pakistan. If a Hindi movie doesn’t have a Parsee... a Sindhi has to come at some point to lighten the spirits. These guys are known for all the Papads they consume.
31. Mia-bhai - The members of the Islamic faith.
32. Bong / Bonglababu / Babumoshai ( pronunciation should have maximum sounds of ”O” as possible ) - for any Bangla.
33. Bambaiyya - Anything that relates to anything that even vaugely relates to Bombay. Bambaiyaa is something that every resident of Bombay would love to be called!
1. She gets really angry if you introduce her as your girlfriend.
2. She starts singing jana-gana-mana loud, if you put your arm around her in public
3. You call her mother ’mavshi’ or ’kaku’
4. When she is really sad she goes ’kahi nahi’ and doesn’t look at you.
5. At least one of her childhood photos has her dressed in a green parkar-polka
6. In a raging thunderstorm if there’s a flash of lightning, she is not going
to hug you like in the movies.
7. You have to listen natya sangeet, to get in good with her dad.
8. You have to convince her that ’the 3 hours we spent in Garden actually qualifies as a date
9. She blushes when somebody asks her about you.
10. She doesn’t wear jeans and skimpy T-shirts but takes it for granted that her career is as important as yours.
11. She remembers all the poems in high school texts.
12. She talks about ’amke amke’ sir and all you can think about him is ’sir, dambis-ahey’.
13. You do not meet her, neither does she, on Rakhi poornima.
14. You and her brother are not buddies.
15. Ghari tumchya avdicha padartha kela tar athvanine dabyat gheun yete.
16. Your date on Chaturthi will be at Dagdusheth Halwai Ganpati / Talyatla Ganpati etc.
17. You have at least once been to Tulshi Baagh with her but she refuses to come with you to Hong Kong Lane.
18. She is more comfortable on Laxmi Road than on MG Road.
tu sui mi dora,
tu kaali mi gora
tu poli mi bhaat,
tu football mi laath
tu bashi mi cup,
tu ushi mi zhop.
tu ball mi bat,
tu undir mi cat...
mi mungla tu mungi,
tu saadi mi lungi..
tu love mi prem,
tu photo mi frame..
tu doka mi kes,
tu saban mi fhes.
tu nisarga mi fiza,
tu kavita ”Mi Maazha”
tu ghubad mi pankh,
tu vinchu mi dankh.
tu sambaar mi dosa
tu boxer mi thosa
tu kanik mi poli
tu aaushad mi goli.
tu petrol mi car,
tu daru mi bar.
tu dudh mi saai,
tu kes mi dye.....
tu chaha mi lassi,
tu kumkum mi jassi...
tu toop mi loni,
tu dravid mi dhoni....
tu barfi mi pedha,
tu bavlat mi veda...
tu computer mi C. D. ,
tu cigaratte mi bidi..
tu dahi mi loni,
tu kes mi pony
tu computer me mail
tu niranjan me tel
tu tiger mi lion
tu dadar me sion
tu takkal mi kes..
tu canteen mi mess
tu kes me konda,
tu dagad me dhonda.