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Martial Arts jokes


There were two old buddies who continued to compete in judo tournaments well past their prime. One day, while relaxing after yet another competition, they were chatting and wondering if there is judo in heaven and made a pact that whoever passed away first would come back and let the other know.

About a week later one of the old judoka passed away. About a month after that the surviving old judoka was at yet another competition when all of a sudden he saw an apparition. Sure enough it was his old buddy who had come back to see him.

”Well, please tell me,” asked the surviving judoka. ”Are there judo competitions in heaven?”

”I have good news and bad news for you,” replied the apparition to his old judo buddy. ”The good news is that, yes, there are judo competitions in heaven. The bad news is that your first match is against Jigoro Kano day after tomorrow.”

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Joke #19666 posted in the category: Martial Arts jokes.

This small Latino man walks into a bar, sits, and orders a beer. A big man comes in, taps him on his shoulder, and says, ”You’re sitting in my seat!”

The same Spanish man ignores him and orders another beer. The man again taps him on his shoulder, and tells him he’s sitting in his seat.

The same Spanish man gets up, leans over the seat, and says. ”I don’t see your name on it.”

He sits down again and orders still another beer. ”The man says... I know Karate!”

The small Latino man says, ”I know JUDO! JU DON’T KNOW IF I HAVE A GUN! JU DON’T KNOW IF I HAVE A KNIFE!”

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Joke #20540 posted in the category: Martial Arts jokes.

It could be considered the ultimate test of one? s manhood. Two Taiwanese Chi Kung experts set a world record by pulling an 11-ton truck with their penises.

Hundreds of enthusiastic spectators watched as the two masters performed the test of strength in preparation for plans to pull an airplane in the same way.

According to Chi Kung master Tu Chin Sheng, students of this particular martial art can hang up to 200 kilograms from their manhood. Sheng also added that this is a great way to strengthen your sexual performance.

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Joke #25136 posted in the category: Martial Arts jokes.

When his martial arts prowess fails to resolve a situation, Chuck Norris plays dead. When playing dead doesn’t work, he plays zombie.

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Joke #31550 posted in the category: Martial Arts jokes.

A blind man goes into a ladies bar, sat at the bar he turns to the woman next to him and says ”Do you want to hear a blonde joke?”

The woman replies ”As you are blind I feel its only fair to warn you, this is a ladies bar, I’m blonde and a champion at karate, my two friends are blonde and are professional wrestlers and the barmaid is blonde. Now do you really want to tell that joke?”

The blind man thinks for a moment....

”No, I don’t want to have to explain it four times.”

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Joke #85042 posted in the category: Martial Arts jokes.

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