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Monster and Creature jokes


Q. What Has Webbed Feet And Fangs.
A. Count Quackula.

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Joke #106 posted in the category: Monster and Creature jokes.

Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A: Because they have big fingers.

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Joke #133 posted in the category: Monster and Creature jokes.

A guy wakes up one morning to find a gorilla in his tree. He looks in the phone book and sure enough finds an ad for ”Gorilla Pest Control.” When he asks if they can remove the gorilla, the service guy asks, ”Is it male or female?”

”Male,” he replies.

”Oh yeah, we can do that. I’ll be right there,” he states.

An hour later, the service guy shows up with a stick, a Rottweiler, a shotgun, and a large pair of handcuffs. He then gives the man some instructions. ”I’m going to climb this tree and poke the gorilla with the stick until he falls out of the tree. When he does, the trained Rotty will move in and savage the gorilla’s private parts. The gorilla will then cross his hands across his crotch to protect himself, and that’s when you move in with the handcuffs!”

The man goes pale and asks, ”Um, okay, but what do I do with the shotgun?”

The service guy replies, ”Hopefully nothing, but if I happen to fall out of the tree before the gorilla, you’ve got to shoot that Rottweiler!”

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Joke #137 posted in the category: Monster and Creature jokes.

Which ghost sailed the seven seas looking for rubbish and blubber?

The ghost of BinBag the Whaler.

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Joke #156 posted in the category: Monster and Creature jokes.

A gorilla was walking through the jungle when he came across a deer eating grass in a clearing. The gorilla roared, ’Who is the king of the jungle?’ and the deer replied, ’Oh, you are, Master.’

The gorilla walked off pleased. Soon he came across a zebra drinking at a water hole. The gorilla roared, ’Who is the king of the jungle?’ and the zebra replied, ’Oh, you are, Master.’

The gorilla walked off pleased. Then he came across an elephant. ’Who is the king of the jungle?’ he roared.

With that, the elephant threw the gorilla across a tree and jumped on him. The gorilla scraped himself up off the ground and said, ’Okay, okay, there’s no need to get mad just because you don’t know the answer.’

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Joke #157 posted in the category: Monster and Creature jokes.

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