Jerry was hired to play his trumpet on the score of a movie, and he was
excited. He was especially thrilled because he got to take two long solos.
After the sessions, which went wonderfully, Jerry couldn’t wait to see the
finished product. He asked the producer where and when he could catch the
A little embarrassed, the producer explained that the music was for a
porno flick that would be out in a month, and he told Jerry where he could
go to see it.
A month later, Jerry, with his collar up and wearing glasses, went to the
theatre where the picture was playing. He walked in and sat way in the
back, next to an elderly couple who also seem to be disguised and hiding.
The movie started, and it was the filthiest, most perverse porno flick
ever... group sex, S & M, golden showers... and then, halfway through, a dog
got in on the action.
Before anyone could blink an eye, the dog has had sex with all the women,
in every orifice, and most of the men. Embarrassed, Jerry turned to the
old couple and whispered, ”I’m only here for the music.”
The woman turned to Jerry and whispered back, ”That’s okay, we’re just
here to see our dog.”
A guy walks into a pet store wanting a parrot. The store clerk shows him two beautiful ones out on the floor. ”This one’s $5, 000 and the other is $10, 000.” the clerk said. ”Wow! What does the $5, 000 one do?” ”This parrot can sing every aria Mozart ever wrote.” ”And the other?” said the customer. ”This one can sing Wagner’s entire Ring cycle. There’s another one in the back room for $30, 000.” ”Holy moly! What does that one do?” ”Nothing that I can tell, but the other two parrots call him ’Maestro’.”-0+
A medical student was in the morgue one day after classes, getting a little practice in before the final exams.
He went over to a table where a body was lying face down. He removed the sheet over the body and to his surprise he found a cork in the corpse’s rectum. Figuring this was fairly unusual, he pulled the cork out, and to his surprise, music began playing ”On the road again... Just can’t wait to get on the road again... ”
The student was amazed, and placed the cork back in the rectum. The music stopped. Totally freaked out, the student called the Medical Examiner over to the corpse.
”Look at this. This is really something!” the student told the examiner as he pulled the cork back out again.
”On the road again... Just can’t wait to get on the road again... ”
”So what?” , the Medical Examiner replied, obviously unimpressed with the student’s discovery.
”But isn’t that the most amazing thing you’ve ever seen?” asked the student.
”Are you kidding?” replied the Examiner, ”Any asshole can sing country music.”