Funny jokes for every day
A farmer asked a friend to recommend an attorney to defend him against a charge of bestiality.
"I know a great trial lawyer," the fellow said, "but he's expensive and doesn't know how to pick a jury. I know another lawyer," he continued, "who's not a great trial lawyer, but he's cheap and really knows how to pick a jury."
The farmer settled on the cheap attorney, but immediately had second thoughts when the key witness, a neighbor, began his testimony.
"I saw Jed mount his goat from behind," he said, "and when he was finished, I saw the goat turn around and lick Jed's pecker."
The accused farmer was devastated and had all but given up hope of acquittal when a juror in overalls whispered to the fellow next to him, "You know, a good goat will do that."
Joke # 866 from category: Nasty jokes.
An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says " We`re having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump, at least one of you can survive" The four open the door and look out below. The Englishman takes a deep breath and hollers "God Save The Queen" and jumps. The Frenchman gets really inspired and hollers "Viva La France" and he also jumps. This really pumps up the Texan so he hollers "Remember the Alamo" and he grabs the Mexican and throws him out of the plane.
Joke # 1066 from category: Nasty jokes.
Lil Timmy Was In Math Class Playin Around When The Teacher Called On Him. "timmy, If There Are Four Birds On A Ledge And You Shoot One Off With Your Bb Gun, How Many Birds Would Be Left?" She Said. Lil Timmy Said," shit, None Of Them, Because If I Shoot, They Gone Get Scared And All Fly Off." The Teacher Said, "well No, the Answer Is Three, But I Like The Way You Were Thinking." Lil Timmy Told The Teacher That He Had A Question For Her To Answer. He Said," if You Walk Into A Ice-cream Parlor And You See Three Women With Ice-cream Cones In Their Hands, And One Lady Is Eating Hers, One Lady Is Biting Hers And The Other Lady Is Sucking Hers, Which One Is Married?" The Teacher Thought About It For A Second And Said, " I Guess The One That Was Sucking Hers." Timmy Said, "nope, The One With The Wedding Ring On, But, I Like The Way You Were Thinking.
Joke # 2912 from category: Nasty jokes.
One Day. A Guy Went Into The Bar To Buy A Drink. He Sees A A Big Jar Full Of
money And He Asks The Bartender What The Money Is For. The Bartender
replies To Him That He Has A Horse Out Back And If You Can Make Him
laugh, You Get The Money. So The Guy Went Out Back And Wispers
something Int Othe Horses Ears And The Horse Started Laughing Very
loudly. The Guy Comes In And Takes The Money And Left. A Couple Weeks
later The Same Guy Came Back And Sees Another Jar Full Of Moneyso He
asks The Bartender What The Money Is For And The Bartender Replies "well,
after You Left Last Time A Couple Weeks Ago, The Horse Hasn't Stopped
laughing Since. If You Get Him To Stop Laughing, You Get The Jar Full Of
money. The Guy Gos Out Back And Then You Could Hear The Horse Crying
and Whining." The Guy Goes In To Take The Money But The Batender Stops
him. "i'm Curious On How You Managed To Make It Laughed. What Did You
say?" The Guy Eplied That He Told The Horse That His Dick Is Bigger Than The
horse. "and The Second Time" Replied The Bartender. The Guy Replied' I
Joke # 5165 from category: Nasty jokes.
There Where Two Animals; A Horse, And A Bull.
they Each Saw Their Shit Was All Piled Up, And The Horse Approached One.
the Horse Said "this Is Bullshit. Where Is Some Good Old Horseshit?"
Joke # 5166 from category: Nasty jokes.