Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.
One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Ralph out.
When the Head Nurse became aware of Edna’s heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, ”Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you’re being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is, Ralph, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he’s dead.”
Edna replied ”He didn’t hang himself. I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?”
Therez 3 Nurses Used To Go To Their Job To A Hospital. Everyday They Have To Pass Under A Tree Where A Parrot Sits Over And Pass A Comment Saying About The Color Of Their Panty: ) Listening The Comments The Nurses Got To Shy And Run As Fast As They Can From There. One Day All 3 Nurses Decided Not To Wear Panty Under Their Skirt To Make The Parrot Fool. The Next Day They Out For Their Job Without Wearing Panty And They Were Under The Tree To Listen The Parrot. The Parrot Remains Silent For Sometime And Then Start Saying ”shaved, Bushy, And A Little Hairy”-0+
Top ten reasons to become a nurse: 1) Pays better then fast food, though the hours aren’t as good. 2) Fashionable shoes and sexy white uniforms. 3) Needles: ”Tis better to give than receive” 4) Reassure your patients that all bleeding stops... eventually. 5) Expose yourself to rare, exciting and new diseases. 6) Interesting aromas. 7) Courteous and infallible doctors who always leave clear orders in perfectly legible handwriting. 8) Do enough charting to navigate around the world. 9) Celebrate all the holidays with your friends- at work. 10) Take comfort that most of your patients survive no matter what you do to them.-0+
A man goes to the nursing home to visit his 84 year-old father. While there he notices the nurse is giving his father hot chocolate and Viagra.
The man asks, ”Why are you doing that? I mean, at his age what will it do for him?”
The nurse explains, ”The hot chocolate will help him sleep.”
The man says, ”And the Viagra?”
”Keeps him from falling out of bed.”
A motorcycle patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix.
The doctors operated and advised him that all was well. However, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs on his chest. Worried that it might be a second incision the doctors hadn’t told him about, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown down enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable.
Taped firmly across his hairy chest were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the kind that doesn’t come off easily.
Written in large black letters on the tape was the sentence, ”Get well quick... from the nurse you gave a ticket to last week.”