Funny jokes for every day
This exchange was overheard between the separated sections of the jail. A male voice yells over to the female side: "I got 12 inches over here you would love to have." The female response was: "Well, spit it out it isn't yours."
Joke # 1271 from category: Ouch!.
This man goes into the doctor with his ringhole in a terrible state, really bad now. Doctor: "What happened to you?" He says: "I was in Africa on safari and I got raped by an elephant!" Doctor: "But I don't understand. Elephant penises are very narrow and couldn't cause that much damage!" He says "Aah but you see doctor, he fingered me first!"
Joke # 1294 from category: Ouch!.
Did you hear about the Blind man that went Bunjee jumping? Scared the hell out of the dog.
Joke # 1374 from category: Ouch!.
A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her breasts in the mirror. He asks, "What are you doing?" She replies, "I went to the doctor today, and he told me I have the breasts of a 25 year old." The husband retorts, "Well, what did he say about your 50 year old ass?" She replies, "Frankly dear, your name never came up."
Joke # 1390 from category: Ouch!.
A lady from California purchased a piece of timber land in Oregon. There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted to get a good view of her land so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top, she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the lady slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her private parts. In considerable pain, she hurried to the nearest doctor. He listened to her story then told her to go into the examining room and he would see if he could help her. She sat and waited for three hours before the doctor reappeared. The angry lady demanded " What took you so long?" and he replied "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a recreational area."
Joke # 5623 from category: Ouch!.