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Paintball jokes

A man comes to a local paintball field, asking how he can play for free. The field owner says, ”Get me a sheep, and you can play for free, for the rest of your life.” The player didn’t want to know why the owner wanted a sheep, but if it would get him free play for life, he didn’t really care.

Next door to the field was a huge sheep ranch, so the player went there. He met the shepherd in the field, tending his flock. ”Those are nice sheep,” the player stated.

”They should be,” the shepherd said, ”they’re worth $5, 000. 00 a head.”

The player was amazed, undaunted, he wanted to get a sheep, but what was the sense of paying five grand to play for free? ”I tell you what,” the player suggested, ”If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I have one?”

The shepherd agreed and the player made his guess, ”Four hundred and forty-three.” The farmer was amazed, that’s exactly how many sheep he had in this particular pasture. The player went into the flock to collect his prize.

The farmer stopped him and said, ”If I can guess what you do, will you give me back the sheep?” The player agreed, to which the farmer proudly stated, ”You’re a professional Paintball tournament player.”

”You’re right,” said the player, ”How’d you know?”

To which the farmer replied, ”Put the dog down and I’ll tell you.”


Joke #6326 posted in the category: Paintball jokes.

What is the difference between a plane full of tourists and a plane full of paintballers?

When the tourist plane shuts down, the whining STOPS!


Joke #6716 posted in the category: Paintball jokes.

Paintball vs sex

Sex is like paintball. U play hard for 30 mins, get hot n sweaty n when its over, ur just glad ur not the one getting shot in the face


Joke #52271 posted in the category: Paintball jokes.

”I think Jim cheats at airsoft.”


”Yeah. He doesn’t admit it when he’s been hit.”

”How do you know?”

”Well, I played airsoft with him last week.”


”But this week I made him play paintball.”


Joke #127188 posted in the category: Paintball jokes.

Walking back from a field, a fellow player asks a new player how he liked his first paintball experience. He looks up and says, ”Well its was alright, but I enjoyed socializing with the referees even more. I really felt we had a connection. The other player replies confused ”How so?” The new player reassures him, ”I’m Schizophrenic, too!”


Joke #128535 posted in the category: Paintball jokes.

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