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Philosophy jokes

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.

When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the studentds if it was full.

They agreed that it was.

He then picked up a box of pebbles and proceeded to pour them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full.

They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.

Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

Once more he asked if the jar was full and they all unanimously agreed.

The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the spaces between the sand.

The students laughed.


Joke #367 posted in the category: Philosophy jokes.

” Now I want you to recognise that this jar represents your entire life. The golf balls are the important things - your family, your children, your health, your friends, your passions, things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else, the small stuff. If you put the sand into the jar first, then there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time on the small stuff, you will never have time for the things that are important to you.


Joke #10762 posted in the category: Philosophy jokes.

1. I’m not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.

2. I’m in shape. Round is a shape.

3. I’ve always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been

more specific.

4. Ever notice when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad at you,

but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the


5. Ever notice that anyone driving slower than you is an idiot,

but anyone going faster is a maniac?

6. You have to stay in shape. My mother started walking five

miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 now and we have no idea

where she is.

7. I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I

lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody

stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of


8. They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if

you’ve got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your

laundry isn’t your biggest problem.

9. Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they

tell you it’s because they’re such beautiful animals. I think my

wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the



Joke #11841 posted in the category: Philosophy jokes.

Dean, to the physics department. ”Why do I always have to give you guys so

much money, for laboratories and expensive equipment and stuff. Why couldn’t

you be like the math department - all they need is money for pencils, paper and

waste-paper baskets. Or even better, like the philosophy department. All they

need are pencils and paper.”


Joke #15487 posted in the category: Philosophy jokes.

The UNIX Philosophy
Ken Thompson has an automobile which he helped design. Unlike most automobiles, it has neither speedometer, nor gas gauge, nor any of the other numerous idiot lights which plague the modern driver. Rather, if the driver makes a mistake, a GIANT? lights up in the center of the dashboard. ”The experienced driver,” says he, ”will usually know what’s wrong.”
Original source unknown; found on Joseph Evans’ (Electrical and Computer Engineering professor at Kansas University) door.


Joke #16755 posted in the category: Philosophy jokes.

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