A lady was expecting the plumber; he was supposed to come at ten o’clock. Ten
o’clock came and went; no plumber; eleven o’clock, twelve o’clock, one o’clock;
She concluded he wasn’t coming, and went out to do some errands. While she was
out, the plumber arrived.
He knocked on the door; the lady’s parrot, who was at home in a cage by the
door, said, ”Who is it?”
He replied, ”It’s the plumber.”
He thought it was the lady who’d said, ”Who is it?” and waited for her to come
and let him in. When this didn’t happen he knocked again, and again the parrot
said, ”Who is it?”
He said, ”It’s the plumber!”
He waited, and again the lady didn’t come to let him in. He knocked again, and
again the parrot said, ”Who is it?”
He said, ”It’s the plumber!!!!!!!!”
Again he waited; again she didn’t come; again he knocked; again the parrot
said, ”Who is it?” ; ”Aarrrrrrgggggghhhhhhh!!!” he said, flying into a rage; he
pushed the door in and ripped it off its hinges. He suffered a heart attack and
he fell dead in the doorway.
The lady came home from her errands, only to see the door ripped off its
hinges and a corpse lying in the doorway, ”A dead body!” she exclaimed, ”Who is
The parrot said, ”It’s the plumber.”
A lawyer needed a leak fixed and called the plumber; who after about 45 minutes was done and all cleaned up. ”That will be $75” said the plumber. The lawyer objected saying ”I’m a lawyer, and I dont even get that much an hour!” The plumber responded: ”I didn’t either, when I was a lawyer”.-0+
A pipe burst in a lawyer ’s house, so he called a plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious plumber-type things for a while, and handed the lawyer a bill for $600.
The lawyer exclaimed, ”This is ridiculous! I don’t even make that much as a lawyer!.”
The plumber quietly replied, ”Neither did I, when I was a lawyer.”
The cesspool was leaking, so plumbers came to fix it. One of them dives into the shit pool and comes out in a few seconds, all covered in crap. ”I’ll need a 5. 5 wrench, Bobby” said the diver-plumber to his young assistant. Bobby gave him the wrench and the plumber dived into the shit one more time.
Half a minute later, the guy jumps out of the crap and says ”Bobby, I’ll need a 6. 5 wrench.” Bobby gave him the wrong wrench this time, so the master plumber got upset ”Bobby, that’s not the one I asked for! Pay attention unless you wanna be the guy that passes the wrench all your life.”
A plumber was called to fix a pipe. He arrived, banged on the pipes for 15 minutes, and said to the homeowner well that’ll be $35. The homeownersaid ”Thirty five dollars!!! Why that’s $140 per hour!!! I’m a lawyer and I only make $100 an hour!!!” The plumber replied ”Yeah, that’s what I got when I was a lawyer.”-0+