Some Polish people decide to start a chicken farm. They get some chickens and plant them in the ground, headfirst. When all the chickens die, the farmers are somewhat confused, but they don’t give up.
They get some more chickens, but these are planted feet-first. It takes a little longer, but eventually the second batch of chickens die, too.
They decide to write a letter to the Polish agriculture bureau. In the letter they explain in detail the procedures they have followed and their disappointing results. A few weeks later
they receive this reply from the bureau: ”Before we can advise you, please send us a soil sample.”
A pilot and a co-pilot were descending for a
landing at an airport
they had never been to before. The pilot
looked out the windshield, and
suddenly exclaimed to the co-pilot:
”Holy cow! Look how short the runway
is! I’ve never seen one that
The co-pilot looked out the windshield. ”Wow! you’re right!
incredible! Are you sure we can make it?”
better, we’re almost out of fuel.”
So the captain got on the
intercom, and notified the passengers to put
their heads between their
knees, and prepare for an emergency landing.
Then he set the flaps to
full down, and slowed the plane to just over
stall speed. The big
jumbo jet came screaming in, on the ragged edge of
pilot’s hands were sweating, the co-pilot was praying.
down, and came screeching to a halt just before the edge
runway, the tires smoking.
”HEW! That was CLOSE!” yelled the
captain. ”That runway was SHORT!”
”Yeah!” said the co-pilot, ”and
There’s a Polish guy, an American guy, and a Canadian guy. They get a note in the mail telling each of them to go to the top of the empire state building as soon as they got the letter. (They all got it at the same time).
So they all go up there.
When they arrive they see a wizard standing before their eyes! The wizard tells them to say what they want to do for their dream job.
So the polish guy says I want to be a pilot. so the wizard says. ”ok now say, I want to be a pilot, and jump off the building and you will be flying away.”
So the Polish guy says ”I want to be a pilot” and jumps off the building. And he was all of a sudden in an airplane flying it!
So, the American guy does the same thing except he wants to be an astronaut. So the American guy says to the wizard ”I want to be an astrounaut” and then he jumps off the building. And all of a sudden he is in a space craft on his way to space!
So, the Canadian has the same procedure does the same thing. But, when he walks up to get ready to jump he trips and says ”SHIT”, and guess what he turned into!!!
A polish man is sitting at a bar having a few drinks when he notices a very attractive lady sit down at the other end of the bar and order a drink.
The polish guy calls the bartender over and says ”whatever she is is drinking give her another one and tell her it is on me.”
The bartender replies ”I don’t think you want to do that.”
”What do you mean?” yells the polish guy, ”Send her the drink!”
”O. K.” the bartender replies, ”but I don’t think it is a good idea.”
”And why not?” asks the polish guy.
The bartender leans over the bar and very softly says ”because she’s a lesbian.”
”I don’t care, send her the drink.” says the polish guy.
So after the lady gets her drink the polish guy very casually strolls down to the other end of the bar and sits down next to her and says, ”so what part of Lesbia are you from?”
A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman.
They exchange hellos and he notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her about it and she replies, ”This is a very interesting book about sexual statistics. It identifies that American Indians have the longest average penis and Polish men have the biggest diameter.
By the way my name is Jill. What’s yours?”
He coolly replies, ”Tonto Kawalski, nice to meet you.”