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A farmer rears 25 young hens and one old cock. As the old cock could no longer handle his job efficiently, the farmer buys one young cock from the market and puts it in the pen with the old cock and the hens...

Old Cock: Welcome to the farm. We’ll work together towards productivity.

Young Cock: Whattya mean? As far as I know, you are old and should be retired.

Old Cock: Young boy, there are 25 hens here, can’t I help you with some?

Young Cock: No! Not even one, all of them will be mine.

Old Cock: In this case, I challenge you to a competition and, if I win, you let me have one hen. If I lose you have them all.

Young Cock: Okay. What kind of competition?

Old Cock: 50-yard dash. From here to that tree. But due to my age, I hope you allow me to start off the first 10 yards. Young Cock: No problem! We race tomorrow morning.

Confidently, the following morning, the Young Cock allows the Old Cock to start off and when the Old Cock crosses the 10-yard mark, the young cock chases him with all his might. He was right behind the old cock in a matter of seconds and -- BANG! Before he can overtake the old cock, he is shot dead by the farmer, who sighs and says, ”Damn. That’s the fifth gay chicken I bought this week.”

--3+

Joke #7 posted in the category: Professional jokes.

A New York family bought a ranch out West where they intended to raise cattle. Friends came to visit and asked if the ranch had a name.

”Well,” said the would-be-cattleman. ”I wanted to call it the Bar-J. My wife favored the Suzy-Q. One son liked the Flying-W, and the other son wanted the Lazy-Y. So, we’re calling it the Bar-J-Suzy-Q-Flying-W-Lazy-Y.”

”But where are all your cattle?”

”So far, none have survived the branding.”

-0+

Joke #97 posted in the category: Professional jokes.

A boy was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, ”If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.” He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, ”If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful Princess, I will stay with you for one week.” The boy took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, ”If you kiss me and turn me back into a Princess, I’ll stay with you and do *Anything* you want.” Again the boy took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, ”What is it? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful Princess, that I’ll stay with you for a week and do *Anything* you want. Why won’t you kiss me?

The boy said, ”Look I’m a computer programmer. I don’t have time for girlfriends, but a talking frog is really cool.”

--8+

Joke #104 posted in the category: Professional jokes.

Scott took his blind date to the carnival. ”What would you like to do

first, Mary?” asked Scott.

”I want to get weighed,” she said. They ambled over to the weight guesser.

He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale, it read 117 and she won a

prize.

Next the couple went on the Ferris wheel. When the ride was over, Scott

again asked Mary what she would like to do.

”I want to get weighed,” she said. Back to the weight guesser they went.

Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight, and Scott

lost his dollar.

The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to go next.

”I want to get weighed,” she responded.

By this time, Scott figured she was really weird and took her home early,

dropping her off with a handshake.

Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, ”How’d it go?”

Mary responded, ”Oh, Waura, it was wousy, he just wouldn’t way me.

--2+

Joke #126 posted in the category: Professional jokes.

A farmer is sitting in the neighborhood bar getting soused. A

man comes in and asks the farmer, ”Hey, why are you sitting here

on this beautiful day getting drunk?”

Farmer: Some things you just can’t explain.

Man: So what happened that is so horrible?

Farmer: Well if you must know, today I was sitting by my cow

milking her. Just as I go the bucket about full, she took her

left leg and kicked it over.

Man: That’s not so bad, what’s the big deal?

Farmer: Some things you just can’t explain.

Man: So then what happened.

Farmer: I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left

with some rope. Then I sat down and continued to milk her.

Just as I got the bucket about full she took her right leg and

kicked it over.

Man: Again?

Farmer: Something’s ya just can’t explain.

Man: So, what did you do then?

Farmer: I took her right leg and tied it to the post on the

right.

Man: So then what did you do?

Farmer: I sat back down and continued to milk her, and just as I

got the bucket just about full, the stupid cow knocks over the

bucket with her tail.

Man: Wow you must have been pretty upset!

Farmer: Some things you just can’t explain.

Man: So then what did you do.

Farmer: Well I didn’t have any more rope, so I took off my belt

and tied her tail to the rafter. In that moment, my pants fell

down and my wife walked in.

-0+

Joke #127 posted in the category: Professional jokes.

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