Three cowboys were hanging out in the bunkhouse. ”I know that smart aleck Tex,” said the first. ”He’s going to start bragging about that new foreign car he bought as soon as he gets back.” ”Not Tex,” the second cowboy replied. ”He`ll always be just a good ol` boy. When he walks in, I’m sure all he`ll say is hello.” ”I know Tex better than either of you,” said the third. ”He’s so smart, he`ll figure out a way to do both. Here he comes now.” Tex swung open the bunkhouse door and shouted, ”Audi, partners!”-16+
Two cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground. One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, ”You see that Indian?”
”Yeah,” says the other cowboy.
”Look,” says the first one, ”he’s listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction.”
Just then the Indian looks up. ”Covered wagon,” he says, ”about two miles away. Have two horses, one brown, one white. Man, woman, child, household effects in wagon.”
”Incredible!” says the cowboy to his friend. ”This Indian knows how far away they are, how many horses, what color they are, who is in the wagon, and what is in the wagon. Amazing!”
The Indian looks up and says, ”Ran over me about a half hour ago.”
The Lone Ranger and Tonto
walked into a bar one day and sat down to drink a beer. After a few
minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, ”Who owns the big
horse outside?” The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gunbelt,
”I do. Why?”
The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger
and said, ”I just thought you
would like to know that your horse is
just about dead outside!!” The Lone
Ranger and Tonto rushed outside
and, sure enough, Silver was about dead
from heat exhaustion. The
Lone Ranger got him some water and made him
drink it, and soon
Silver was starting to feel a little better.
The Lone Ranger turned
to Tonto and said, ”Tonto, I want you to run
around Silver and see
if you can create enough of a breeze to make him
start to feel
Tonto said, ”Sure Kemosabe”, and took off running circles
Silver. Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lon
e Ranger returned to
the bar to finish his drink.
minutes later, another cowboy struts into the bar and announces,
owns that big white horse outside?”
The Lone Ranger stands
again and claims, ”I do. What is wrong with him
cowboy says to him, ”Nothing much, I just wanted you to
know............ you left your Injun running!!!”
A young red indian boy approaches his father and asks ”Father, how do Red Indians get their names?”
The father replies ”We name our children after the first thing we see after you are born. If I looked out my tee-pee and dawn was just breaking I would call you ’Rising Sun’, if I saw some animals passing I may call you ’Running Deer’”
With this reply the boy nods his head and begins to turn away.
When the father says ”Why you ask ’Two dogs fucking?’ ”
There were two Indians and a Polish fellow walking along together in the desert, when, all of a sudden, one of the Indians took off and ran up a hill to the mouth of a cave.
He stopped and hollered into the cave... ”Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!” and then listened very closely until he heard the answer...” Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!” He then tore off his clothes and ran in to the cave.
The Polish fellow was puzzled and asked the other Indian what that was all about, was that Indian goofy or something.
”No”, said the other Indian. ”It is mating time for us Indians and when you see a cave and holler, ”Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!” , and get an answer back, that means that she is in there waiting for you.
Well, just about that time, the other Indian saw another cave. He took off and ran up to the cave, then stopped and hollered, ”Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!” When he heard the return, ”Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!” , off came the clothes and into the cave he goes.
The Polack started running around the desert looking for a cave to find these women that the Indians had talked about. All of a sudden, he looked up and saw this great big cave.
As he looked in amazement, he was thinking, ”Man! Look at the size of that cave! It’s bigger then the ones that those Indians found. There must really be something really great in this cave!”
Well... he took-off up the hill at a super fast speed. He got in front of the cave and hollered, ”Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!” He was just tickled all over when he heard the answering call of, ”WOOOOOOOOO! WOOOOOOOOO!! WOOOOOOOOO!!! Off came his clothes and, with a big smile on his face, he raced into the cave.
The next day in the newspaper the head lines read, Naked Polack Run Over By Freight Train!!