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Republicans jokes


”I was proud the other day when both Republicans and Democrats stood with me

in the Rose Garden to announce their support for a clear statement of purpose:

you disarm, or we will.” —George W. Bush, speaking about Saddam Hussein,

Manchester, N. H.

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Joke #98279 posted in the category: Republicans jokes.

”I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican”

... George W. Bush

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Joke #98353 posted in the category: Republicans jokes.

George W. Bush is out jogging one morning, notices a little boy on the corner

with a box.

Curious, he runs over to the child and says, ”What’s in the box kid?”

The little boy says, ”Kittens, they’re brand new kittens.”

George W. laughs and says, ”What kind of kittens are they?”

”Republicans,” the child says.

”Oh that’s cute,” George W. says and he runs off.

A couple of days later George is running with his buddy Dick Cheney and he

spies the same boy with his box just ahead.

George W. says to Dick, ”You gotta check this out” and they both jog over to

the boy with the box.

George W. says, ”Look in the box Dick, isn’t that cute? Look at those little

kittens. Hey kid tell my friend Dick what kind of kittens they are.”

The boy replies, ”They’re Democrats.”

”Whoa! ” George W. says, ”I came by here the other day and you said they were

Republicans. What’s up?”

”Well,” the kid says, ”Their eyes are open now”

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Joke #98354 posted in the category: Republicans jokes.

Over 5, 000 years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel, ”Pick up your

shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the Promised

Land.”

Nearly 5, 000 years later, Roosevelt said, ”Lay down your shovels, sit

on your asses, and light up a Camel; this is the Promised Land!”

Now Bush Jr. Wants to steal your shovels, kick your asses, raise the price of

your Camels, and mortgage the Promised Land. Bush Jr. Wants to change the

Republican Party Emblem from an elephant to a condom, because it stands for

inflation, protects a bunch of pricks, halts production, and gives a false sense

of security while one is being screwed.

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Joke #98355 posted in the category: Republicans jokes.

A first grade teacher is explaining to her class that she is a Republican and

how nice it is that a new Republican president has taken office. She asks her

students to raise their hands if they, too, are Republicans and support George

Bush. Everyone in class raises their hands except one little girl. ”Mary,” says

the teacher with surprise, ”why didn’t you raise your hand?” Because I’m not a

Republican,” says Mary. ”Well, what are you?” asks the teacher. ”I’m a Democrat

and proud of it,” replies the little girl. The teacher cannot believe her ears.

”My goodness, Mary, why are you a Democrat?” she asks. ”Well, my momma and papa

are Democrats, so I’m a Democrat, too.” ”Well,” says the teacher in an annoyed

tone, ”that’s no reason for you to be a Democrat. You don’t always have to be

like your parents. What if your momma was a criminal and your papa was a

criminal, too, what would you be then?” ”Then,” Mary smiled, ”then we’d be

Republicans.”

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Joke #98356 posted in the category: Republicans jokes.

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