A man walked into a restaurant and as he sat down, he noticed all the servers had extra spoons in their pockets. When his server came, he asked him why, the server said ”You are very observant sir, we had a management consultant come in and give us various ideas to save time came in, he told us 80% of the time when people drop silverware its their spoon, so he had us start carrying them around so we could give them right to the customers when they drop them.
A few moments later the man noticed strings coming out of all the male servers’ pants, again he asked his server why. The sever answered ”That is the management consultant again sir, he said washing our hands after we use the urinal was a large waste of time, so he made us tie string around our ”members” so we can just pull them out.” The man asked ”That’s all well and good, but how do you get them back in?” The server replied ”I don’t know about the rest of them, but I use the spoon!”
A Rolls Royce pulls up in front of a really expensive restaurant and a really rich sheik gets out from it followed by a harem of women, and a rooster. The ”party” is escorted to a table and given a menu.
When time to order the sheik orders for himself and the harem, and also asks for a basket of apples for the rooster. The waiter thinks it a bit strange, but does as is asked, and brings the apples for the rooster. One by one, the rooster eats all of the apples. Having
noticed this, the sheik orders another basket of apples for the rooster. Again the rooster eats all the apples.
When summoned again, the waiter asks the sheik about the voracious appetite of the rooster.
The sheik explains:
”I was in the desert one day and found a lamp.
It was a bit dirty so I rubbed it to clean it.
Just as I did, out came a Genie and granted me three wishes...
My first wish was to have an endless supply of money.
My second wish was to have many beatiful women.
And my third wish was to have an insatiable cock!”
A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, ”Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn’t pay for your sandwich!” The panda yells back at the bartender, ”Hey, I’m a PANDA! Look it up!”
The bartender opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda: ”A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.