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When Jane initially met Tarzan of the jungle,

she was attracted to him, and during her

questions about his life, she asked him how he

had sex.

Tarzan not know sex,” he replied.

Jane explained to him what sex was. Tarzan

said, ”Oh, ... Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree.”

Horrified, she said, ”Tarzan you have it all

wrong, ... but I will show you how to do it

properly.” She took off her clothes and laid

down on the ground.

”Here” she said, ... ”you must put it in here.”

Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer

with his huge erection, and then gave her an

almighty kick right in the crotch.

Jane rolled around in agony for what seemed

like an eternity. Eventually she managed to

gasp for air and screamed, ”What did you do

that for?”

”Tarzan check for bees!”

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Joke #808 posted in the category: Rude jokes.

Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs?
A: Right where you left him.

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Joke #1075 posted in the category: Rude jokes.

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: It don’t matter what you call him, he ain’t commin’!

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Joke #1162 posted in the category: Rude jokes.

What’s better than winning the gold medal at the special olympics?

Not being retarded!

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Joke #1163 posted in the category: Rude jokes.

A guy walked into a pet store looking for a Christmas gift for his wife. The storekeeper said he knew exactly what would please her and took a little bird out of its cage.

”This is Chet,” he said, ”and Chet can sing Christmas carols and songs.” Seeing the look of disbelief on the customer’s face, he proceeded to demonstrate.

”He needs warming up,” he said. ”Lend me your cigarette lighter.”

The storekeeper lifted Chet’s left wing and waved the flame lightly under it. Immediately, Chet sang: Oh Come, All Ye Faithful.

”That’s fantastic,” said the customer.

”And listen to this,” said the storekeeper, warming Chet’s other wing.

Chet sang: O Little Town of Bethlehem.

”Wrap him up,” said the customer, ”I’ll take him!”

When he got home he greeted his wife: ”Honey, I can’t wait until Christmas to show you what I got you. This is fantastic.”

He unwrapped Chet’s cage and showed the bird to his wife. ”Now, watch and listen.”

He raised Chet’s left wing and held him over a Christmas candle that was burning on the mantlepiece. Chet immediately began to sing Silent Night. The wife was delighted. As Chet’s right wing was warmed over the flame, he sang Joy To The World.

”Let me try it,” said the wife, seizing he bird. In her eagerness, she held Chet a little too close to the candle flame. Chet began to sing passionately:

”Chet’s nuts roasting on an open fire!”

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Joke #1164 posted in the category: Rude jokes.

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