Rabbit’s Ph. D. Thesis: A Parable for Graduate Students Scene: It’s a fine sunny day in the forest, and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out for a walk. Fox: ”What are you working on?” Rabbit: ”My thesis.” Fox: ”Hmmm. What’s it about?” Rabbit: ”Oh, I’m writing about how rabbits eat foxes.” (incredulous pause) Fox: ”That’s ridiculous! Any fool knows that rabbits don’t eat foxes.” Rabbit: ”Sure they do, and I can prove it. Come with me.” They both disappear into the rabbit’s burrow. After a few minutes, the rabbit returns, alone, to his typewriter and resumes typing. Soon, a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hardworking rabbit. Wolf: ”What’s that you’re writing?” Rabbit: ”I’m doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves.” (loud guffaws) Wolf: ”You don’t expect to get such rubbish published, do you?” Rabbit: ”No problem. Do you want to see why?” The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow, and again the rabbit returns by himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to typing. Scene: Inside the rabbit’s burrow. In one corner, there is a pile of fox bones. In another corner, a pile of wolf bones. On the other side of the room, a huge lion is belching and picking his teeth. (The End) Moral: It doesn’t matter what you choose for a thesis subject. It doesn’t matter what you use for data. What does matter is who you have for a thesis advisor.-31+
A horny young man went to a brothel... The lady at the counter asked him what his choice would be. The man wanted to know what was available. Madam, ”On the first floor, we have the ex-models... they are all slinky and sexy... On the second floor, we have our ex-actresses... they are all buxom and beautiful... On the third floor, we have our ex-teachers.... they...” Man, ”Say no more! Lead me to the third floor.” Madam, ”Are you sure... I’m surprised that you would prefer ex-teachers to ex-models and ex-actresses.” Man, ”It’s obvious, ma’am, teachers always make you do a thing over and over again, until you’re perfect at it.”-0+
The not necessarily well-prepared student sat in his life science
classroom staring at a question on the final exam paper. The question
directed: ”Give four advantages of breast milk.” What to write? He
sighed, and began to scribble whatever came into his head, hoping for
1. No need to boil.
2. Cats can’t steal it.
3. Available whenever necessary.
So far so good - maybe. But the exam demanded a four-part answer.
Again, what to write? Once more, he sighed. He frowned. He scowled,
then sighed again. But suddenly, he brightened. He grabbed his pen,
and triumphantly, he scribbled his definitive answer:
4. Available in attractive containers.
A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable at all. On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in school.
Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opened the window as wide as possible and then busied himself with desk work.
When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he took the desk stapler and stapled the tie to his chest.
He had no trouble with discipline that term.