Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and baby stork. The baby stork is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him. ”Don’t worry, son. Your mother will come back. She’s only bringing people babies and making them happy.”
The next night, it’s father’s turn to do the job. Mother and son are sitting in the nest, the baby stork is crying, and mother is saying, ”Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he’s bringing joy to new mommies and daddies.”
A few days later, the stork’s parents are desperate: their son has been absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns and the parents ask him where he’s been all night.
The baby stork says, ”No where. Just scaring the hell out of college students!”
After teaching high school for nearly 20 years, I thought I’d heard every possible excuse for missing homework until one parent sent me this note: ”Please excuse Lori for not having her algebra homework. The cat had kittens on it last night.”-0+
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.
He then asked the studentds if it was full.
They agreed that it was.
He then picked up a box of pebbles and proceeded to pour them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.
He then asked the students again if the jar was full.
They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
Once more he asked if the jar was full and they all unanimously agreed.
The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the spaces between the sand.
The students laughed.