Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and baby stork. The baby stork is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him. ”Don’t worry, son. Your mother will come back. She’s only bringing people babies and making them happy.”
The next night, it’s father’s turn to do the job. Mother and son are sitting in the nest, the baby stork is crying, and mother is saying, ”Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he’s bringing joy to new mommies and daddies.”
A few days later, the stork’s parents are desperate: their son has been absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns and the parents ask him where he’s been all night.
The baby stork says, ”No where. Just scaring the hell out of college students!”
A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow’s final exam.
”Now class, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family - but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever!”
A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raises his hand and asks, ”What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?”
The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering.
When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says,
”Well, I guess you’d have to write the exam with your other hand.”