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Recently, the Psychic Hotline and Psychic Friends Network have launched hotlines for frogs. Here is the story of one frog and his discussing with his psychic. A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, ”You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.” The frog says, ”This is great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?” ”No,” says the psychic. ”Next semester in her biology class.”

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Joke #1090 posted in the category: Science jokes.

In a School science class four worms were placed into four separate jars.

The first worm was put into a jar full of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a jar full of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a jar full of sperm.
The fourth worm was put into a jar full of soil.

After one day, these were the results:

The first worm in alcohol - died.

The second worm in the cigarette smoke - died.

The third worm in the sperm - died.

The fourth worm in the soil - was alive.

So the science teacher asked the class - ”What can you learn from this experiment.”
Little Johnny quickly raised his hand and said. ”As long as you drink, smoke and have sex, you won’t have worms.”

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Joke #1393 posted in the category: Science jokes.

Rabbit’s Ph. D. Thesis: A Parable for Graduate Students Scene: It’s a fine sunny day in the forest, and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out for a walk. Fox: ”What are you working on?” Rabbit: ”My thesis.” Fox: ”Hmmm. What’s it about?” Rabbit: ”Oh, I’m writing about how rabbits eat foxes.” (incredulous pause) Fox: ”That’s ridiculous! Any fool knows that rabbits don’t eat foxes.” Rabbit: ”Sure they do, and I can prove it. Come with me.” They both disappear into the rabbit’s burrow. After a few minutes, the rabbit returns, alone, to his typewriter and resumes typing. Soon, a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hardworking rabbit. Wolf: ”What’s that you’re writing?” Rabbit: ”I’m doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves.” (loud guffaws) Wolf: ”You don’t expect to get such rubbish published, do you?” Rabbit: ”No problem. Do you want to see why?” The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow, and again the rabbit returns by himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to typing. Scene: Inside the rabbit’s burrow. In one corner, there is a pile of fox bones. In another corner, a pile of wolf bones. On the other side of the room, a huge lion is belching and picking his teeth. (The End) Moral: It doesn’t matter what you choose for a thesis subject. It doesn’t matter what you use for data. What does matter is who you have for a thesis advisor.

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Joke #6237 posted in the category: Science jokes.

One day the zoo-keeper noticed that the orangutan was reading two books -- the Bible and Darwin’s Origin of Species.

In surprise he asked the ape, ”Why are you reading both those books?”

”Well,” said the orangutan, ”I just wanted to know if I was my brother’s keeper or my keeper’s brother.”

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Joke #6484 posted in the category: Science jokes.

During grammar school science experiements into properties of different alcohols:

The residue of each test was tipped down the sinks, which were grouped in threes. There were no U-bends, but each group of sinks emptied into a single box, which overflowed into the mains sewers. Presumably this was intended to retain things like droplets of mercury, which was not banned from use when I was 16.

During the session, my bunsen went out, so I re-lit it with a splint lit from the teacher’s bunsen. For safety’s sake (! ) I dropped the burning splint into the sink, intending to extinguish it with water, instead of waving it around in the alcohol fumes. A small blue flame disappeared down the plughole. Hum, thinks I, I wonder where that’s going?

I opened the cupboard ’neath the sink, only to find the drain box, full of alcohol, a roaring mass of flame. Shutting the doors, I called out, ”Er, Sir...” just as the inch-thick wooden lids blew off the adjacent un-used sinks. Fortunately, the back-blast extinguished the flames under the cupboard, so the box only sagged slightly!

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Joke #6850 posted in the category: Science jokes.

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