A blind man was describing his favorite sport - parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: ”I am placed in the door and told when to jump. My hand is placed on my release ring for me, and out I go.” ”But how do you know when you are going to land?” he was asked.
”I have a very keen sense of smell and I can smell the trees and grass when I am 300 feet from the ground,” he answered.
”But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground?” he was again asked.
He quickly answered ”Oh, the dog’s leash goes slack.”
All of these pilot and aviation jokes get me to thinking about my first skydiving instructor. During class he would always take the time to answer any of our stupid first-timer questions.
One guy asked, ”If our chute doesn’t open, and the reserve doesn’t open, how long do we have until we hit the ground?”
Our jumpmaster looked at him and in perfect deadpan and answered, ”The rest of your life.”
A polish man is sitting in a plane about to go skydiving for the first time when the instructor approaches him and says: ”so it’s just like we practiced. First you pull the yellow cord then the red, got it?” The polish man replies: ”yellow, red got it”. When it comes time for him to jump, he stands in the doorway and leaps out. After falling for a few minutes it is time for him to open his parachute but he begins drawing blanks. He cant remember if it is the yellow then the red cord or red then yellow. Just as he is about to panic he notices another polish guy in the sky only he is flying upward. So he says to the polish guy ”hey, do you know anything about parachutes?” The other Polish man says: ”no, do you know anything about gas stoves.”-3+