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Soccer jokes


A teacher at a school for blind kids is taking his school’s soccer team to an ”away game”. They stop for a rest break, and to let the kids work off some energy with a little impromptu practice in a nearby pasture. The teacher is sitting in a nearby diner, explaining to another patron how it is that blind kids can play soccer.

”We made a special ball, with a bell in it, so the kids can keep track of where the ball is and what it’s doing by listening for it. They’re pretty good at it too.”

”Very clever!” remarks the other patron.

Just then they are interrupted as another patron, who is looking out the window, says, ”Hey! Are you the guy with those damn blind kids from the bus?”

”Yes,” says the teacher, stung by the way ”his” kids are being referred to, ”what about it? You got something against blind kids?”

”Nothing, ordinarily,” says the guy, still scowling out the window, ”but you better get them rounded up quick! They’re kicking the hell out of my best milk cow!”

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Joke #838 posted in the category: Soccer jokes.

It was a boring Sunday afternoon in the jungle, so the Elephants decided to challenge the Ants to a game of soccer. The game was going well with the Elephants beating the Ants ten goals to nil, when the Ants gained possession.

The Ants’ star player was dribbling the ball towards the Elephants’ goal when the Elephants’ left back came lumbering towards him. The elephant trod on the little ant, killing him instantly.

The referee stopped the game. ”What the hell do you think you’re doing? Do you call that sportsmanship, killing another player?”

The elephant replied, ”Well, I didn’t mean to kill him - I was just trying to trip him up.”

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Joke #4497 posted in the category: Soccer jokes.

When was soccer introduced to the bible?

When Jesus christ went up for the cross.

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Joke #8214 posted in the category: Soccer jokes.

What’s the difference between the England team and a tea-bag?

The tea-bag stays in the cup longer!

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Joke #20441 posted in the category: Soccer jokes.

What is common between between a 3 pin plug and the England football team?

They are both useless in Europe!

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Joke #20446 posted in the category: Soccer jokes.

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