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Student jokes


One day a teacher had a taste test with her students. She picked a little

boy to do the first test. She blindfolded him, put a Hershey kiss in his

mouth and asked,

”Do you know what it is?”

”No, I don’t,” said the little boy.

”Okay, I’ll give you a clue. It’s the thing your daddy wants from your Mom

before he goes to work.”

That’s when a little girl at the back of the room yelled,

”Spit it out! It’s a piece of ass!!”

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Joke #804 posted in the category: Student jokes.

A FIRST GRADE TEACHER collected old, well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb, and had them come up with the rest.

As you shall make your bed so shall you.......... mess it up.

Better be safe than...................... punch a 5th grader.

Strike while the.............................. bug is close.

It’s always darkest before............ daylight savings time.

You can lead a horse to water but....................... how?

Don’t bite the hand that........................ looks dirty.

A miss is as good as a................................... Mr.

You can’t teach an old dog new......................... math.

If you lie down with the dogs, you’ll.. stink in the morning.

The pen is mightier than the........................... pigs.

An idle mind is....................... the best way to relax.

Where there’s smoke, there’s...................... pollution.

Happy the bride who................... gets all the presents.

A penny saved is................................... not much.

Two’s company, three’s....................... the musketeers.

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you,

cry and.......................... you have to blow your nose.

Children should be seen and not......... spanked or grounded.

When the blind leadeth the blind......... get out of the

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Joke #5970 posted in the category: Student jokes.

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child.

Smiling sweetly, the Sunday School teacher said, Bobby, when I was a child, I was told that if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.

Bobby looked up and replied, Well, Ms. Smith, you can’t say you weren’t warned.

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Joke #8968 posted in the category: Student jokes.

The graduate with a Science degree asks, ”Why does it work?”

The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, ”How does it work?”

The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, ”How much will it cost?”

The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, ”Do you want fries with that?”

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Joke #9453 posted in the category: Student jokes.

A college student is home for the summer from college, and is looking for ajob. He goes to K-Mart, and fills out an application. A few days later, themanager calls him and asks him to come in for an interview, which the studentdoes. When the student arrives, the manager sits him down and says ”Well sondo you think you have what it takes to work at ’The Big K’? The studentthinks to himself, ”is this guy fucking nuts?” , but nods his head and saysyes. The manager says ok, and tells the student he must get a lesson first onhow to deal with customers. They go to a cash register, and the managertells the student to watch him and learn what to do. The student agrees andafter a few minutes a customer comes to the counter, and throws down a bag ofGrass Seeds. The manager looks at the bag, and says ” Say, would you like alawnmower to cut that grass when it grows?” The customer thinks for a secondand says ” yeah, why the hell not.” The manager looks at the student and say ”Son, do u think u can do that?” The student again thinks to himself ” Isthis guy fucking nuts?” , but nods says and says he does. A few minuteslater, another customer comes to the register to get checked out, and the manager tells the student to try it. The student agrees, while the customer throws a pack of tampons up on the counter. The student looks that thetampons and says ” Sir, would u happen to be interested in buying one of our grasscutters, they are on sale in aisle 8?” The customer looks at the student and says ”Why the hell would I want to buy a grasscutter?” Thestudent looks at him and says ” well I just figured since u wouldn’t be getting any pussy this weekend, that u might wanna cut your grass instead!”

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Joke #12912 posted in the category: Student jokes.

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