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Taiwanese jokes


Dear China,

We’re sorry you don’t train your fighter pilots better. As a token of our apology, here’s a copy of Microsoft Flight Simulator 2000.

We’re also sorry your front-line fighter planes can’t outmaneuver a 35-year old prop-driven airliner. Perhaps you’d like to purchase some surplus 1950’s-era Lockheed Starfighters from Taiwan... since they just replaced all theirs with new F-16’s.

We’re also sorry you believe your territorial waters extend all the way to Australia. For future reference, here’s an American 6th grade geography textbook. (Please note the Copyright information printed inside the cover. )

In addition, we’re sorry you can’t seem to see your part of this incident. We know it seems easier to blame others than to take responsibility. Consider this while we build several new Aegis destroyers for our friends in Taiwan.

Finally, we’re sorry we granted you Most-Favored-Nation trading status. This will be rectified at the soonest possible opportunity. Along those lines, we’re especially sorry we treated you with such respect for the last 20 years. We’ll definitely rethink this policy, and will probably go back to treating you like a street gang very soon.

Sincerely,

The People of the United States of America

--1+

Joke #25133 posted in the category: Taiwanese jokes.

Taiwan may soon just be raising dogs to be pets and not as the main ingredients for stews and stir-fries.

In a preliminary vote, Taiwan’s legislature has passed a bill that bans people from selling or eating dog meat. The legislation is expected to be formally passed next month, officials said.

”Westerners treat dogs as their best friends or family members and we should no longer tolerate such savage practices,” said Cheng Tao-lung, who works for a lawmaker who supported the bill.

Under the proposed law, those selling or eating dog meat will be fined 10, 000 Taiwan dollars (? 210).

Food stalls serving dog meat were once easy to find around Taiwan. Many Taiwanese believe the meat is nutritious and strengthens the body against the winter cold.

In recent years, a growing number of Taiwanese have stopped eating dogs and most of the dog meat restaurants are in rural areas.

--2+

Joke #25134 posted in the category: Taiwanese jokes.

An old lady joins a package tour to Europe.

Many European restrooms have coin operated stalls.

Daiwanlang consider it a virtue to be frugal, and so a group of Daiwan women tourists come up with an idea: by not pulling the door all the way to a lock, then the whole group can all use the same stall one after another on just one coin.

To do this, when one woman uses the stall, the next one would spot her right outside.

The old lady is the last one in the group to use the stall, and nobody remembers to spot her.

Then, a European woman comes in, sees that stall is unlocked and enters.

This catches both women by surprise, and the European woman quickly apologizes by saying ”I’m sorry.”

When the old lady is furious when she gets out of the restroom. She says, ”You wouldn’t believe how rude this white woman was!”

”Not only did she open the door on me,” ”she blamed me for not locking the door!”

-1+

Joke #25135 posted in the category: Taiwanese jokes.

It could be considered the ultimate test of one? s manhood. Two Taiwanese Chi Kung experts set a world record by pulling an 11-ton truck with their penises.

Hundreds of enthusiastic spectators watched as the two masters performed the test of strength in preparation for plans to pull an airplane in the same way.

According to Chi Kung master Tu Chin Sheng, students of this particular martial art can hang up to 200 kilograms from their manhood. Sheng also added that this is a great way to strengthen your sexual performance.

--2+

Joke #25136 posted in the category: Taiwanese jokes.

Acer is working on a hand-held computer similar to the HP 95LX. What name did the marketing group in Taiwan come up with for the new machine?”

”They wanted to call it the ’Hand-job.’ ”

--1+

Joke #25137 posted in the category: Taiwanese jokes.

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