A grizzled old man was eating in a truck
stop when three Hell’s Angels’ bikers walked in. The first walked
to the old man, pushed his cigarette into the old man’s pie and
took a seat at the counter. The second walked up to the old
into the old man’s milk and then he too took a seat at the
third walked up to the old man, turned over the old
man’s plate, and
then he took a seat at the counter.
word of protest, the old man quietly left the diner. Shortly
thereafter, one of the bikers said to the waitress,
”Humph, not much of a
man, was he?”
The waitress replied, ”Not much of a truck driver
either, he just
backed his big-rig over three motorcycles.”
Some car acronyms
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
Always Unsafe Designs Implemented
All Un-informed Drivers Insulted
All Unnecessary Devices Installed
Big Money Works
Bought My Wife
Brutal Money Waster
Big Ugly Indestructable Car Killer
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
Damn Old Dirty Gas Eater
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road, Dead
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
Garage Man’s Companion
Had One Never Did Again
Happy Owners Never Drive Anything else.
Hope You Understand Nothing’s Driveable And Inexpensive?
Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along
Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday.
Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick’s Irregular Leftover Equipment
Send Another Automobile Back
Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
A trucker who had driven his fully loaded rig to the top of a steep hill was just starting down the equally steep other side when he noticed a man and a woman lying in the center road, making love. He blew his air horn several times as he was bearing down on them. Realizing that they were not about to get out of his way he slammed on his brakes and stopped just inches from them.
Getting out of the cab, madder than hell, the trucker walked to the front of the cab and looked down at the two, still in the road, and yelled, ”What the hell’s the matter with you two? Didn’t you hear me blowing the horn? You could’ve been killed!”
The man on the highway, obviously satisfied and not too concerned, looked up and said, ”Look, I was coming, she was coming, and you were coming. You were the only one with brakes.”
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife’s voice urgently warning him, ”Herman, I
just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way on 280.
Please be careful!”
”Hell,” said Herman, ”It’s not just one car. It’s hundreds of them!”
While driving along the back roads of a small town, two truckers came to an overpass with a sign that read CLEARANCE 11’3.”
They got out and measured their rig, which was 12’4.”
”What do you think?” one asked the other.
The driver looked around carefully, then shifted into first. ”Not a cop in sight. Let’s take a chance!”