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Taxi and Cab Driver jokes


A grizzled old man was eating in a truck

stop when three Hell’s Angels’ bikers walked in. The first walked

up

to the old man, pushed his cigarette into the old man’s pie and

then

took a seat at the counter. The second walked up to the old

man, spat

into the old man’s milk and then he too took a seat at the

counter. The

third walked up to the old man, turned over the old

man’s plate, and

then he took a seat at the counter.

Without a

word of protest, the old man quietly left the diner. Shortly

thereafter, one of the bikers said to the waitress,

”Humph, not much of a

man, was he?”

The waitress replied, ”Not much of a truck driver

either, he just

backed his big-rig over three motorcycles.”

-239+

Joke #7246 posted in the category: Taxi and Cab Driver jokes.

Some car acronyms

AUDI

Accelerates Under Demonic Influence

Always Unsafe Designs Implemented

All Un-informed Drivers Insulted

All Unnecessary Devices Installed

BMW

Big Money Works

Bought My Wife

Brutal Money Waster

BUICK

Big Ugly Indestructable Car Killer

CHEVROLET

Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips

DODGE

Damn Old Dirty Gas Eater

Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere

FORD

Fix Or Repair Daily

Found On Road, Dead

Fast Only Rolling Downhill

GM

General Maintenance

GMC

Garage Man’s Companion

HONDA

Had One Never Did Again

Happy Owners Never Drive Anything else.

HYUNDAI

Hope You Understand Nothing’s Driveable And Inexpensive?

MAZDA

Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along

OLDSMOBILE

Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday.

Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick’s Irregular Leftover Equipment

SAAB

Send Another Automobile Back

TOYOTA

Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto

VOLVO

Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object

VW

Virtually Worthless

-6+

Joke #8861 posted in the category: Taxi and Cab Driver jokes.

A trucker who had driven his fully loaded rig to the top of a steep hill was just starting down the equally steep other side when he noticed a man and a woman lying in the center road, making love. He blew his air horn several times as he was bearing down on them. Realizing that they were not about to get out of his way he slammed on his brakes and stopped just inches from them.

Getting out of the cab, madder than hell, the trucker walked to the front of the cab and looked down at the two, still in the road, and yelled, ”What the hell’s the matter with you two? Didn’t you hear me blowing the horn? You could’ve been killed!”

The man on the highway, obviously satisfied and not too concerned, looked up and said, ”Look, I was coming, she was coming, and you were coming. You were the only one with brakes.”

-3+

Joke #16618 posted in the category: Taxi and Cab Driver jokes.

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.

Answering, he heard his wife’s voice urgently warning him, ”Herman, I

just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way on 280.

Please be careful!”

”Hell,” said Herman, ”It’s not just one car. It’s hundreds of them!”

-3+

Joke #21101 posted in the category: Taxi and Cab Driver jokes.

While driving along the back roads of a small town, two truckers came to an overpass with a sign that read CLEARANCE 11’3.”

They got out and measured their rig, which was 12’4.”

”What do you think?” one asked the other.

The driver looked around carefully, then shifted into first. ”Not a cop in sight. Let’s take a chance!”

-16+

Joke #25772 posted in the category: Taxi and Cab Driver jokes.

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