1. If you holler ”overs!” before the ball passes the arrows, you get to throw the ball over, unless of course, you get a strike. In which case, you can renege on the ”overs”.
2. When your team is about 10 marks down in the 8th or 9th frame, you can invoke the rule ”First Team Through Bowling Wins the Game”, and your team still has a chance.
3. After a member of the opposing team bowls 4 strikes in a row, he/she must bowl the next 4 frames blindfolded. If he/she continues to strike, his/her shoelaces will be tied together for 2 frames.
4. When you leave the 10-pin and you know you can’t make the spare, but another member of your team can, invoke the ”Designated Bowler” rule.
5. After you have 4 splits in one game, you may say ”Kings X” and take those 4 frames over. However, if you split on the 2nd time around, you accept it. After all, ”Fair is Fair”.
6. If your ball goes in the gutter and jumps back onto the lane, knocking dow pins, by golly, you get them! That’s much harder than to knock them down the conventional way. Good bowling should be recognized.
7. A ball should be declared dead when you bowl 3 games without a strike. It shall be the owners privilege to decide on the disposition of said dead ball - Burial at Sea, Dropped from an airplane over a live volcano, or a simple burial in the city dump. For a small fee, a league officer can be bribed to deliver a short eulogy.
* Everytime you throw exclaim ”TAKE THAT, YOU!!!” continue this behavior until forcefully thrown out.
* When ever a strike ”X” appears on the screen, start yelling about how this is a Black Panther conspiracy.
* Explain to the Owner how your game has been ruined due to Platetechtonics then loose him in lingo. Demand Compensation.
* Bring Zippo fluid, light the pins on fire.
* Wear Golf Shoes.
* Pray to the pins, leave sacrifices.
* Dress up like an amish man. Give speaches to others against the high technology used in bowling.
* Play bocci with extra lane balls
* Try to juggle the balls, when you drop them, start screaming about Platetechtonics again
* Every ten minutes run the entire length of the building beating your own head and speaking in tounges, then sit down as if nothing happened.
* Bring full angling gear, ask how they’re biting..... fish.
* Completely cover your ball in duct tape (sticky side out) then loudly complain about how your hook is off.
* Hide behind the pins. Stick your head up, LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY.
* Use a Curling Weight instead, bring a full team of sweepers.
* Throw refuse down the ball return, tell the owner the trash compactor is busted.
* Make your prescence known by arranging pentagrams out of candles on every lane except yours.
* Root for the other team- Bring Banners.
* Make fun of your team- Bring Lettuce.
* Tell the rival team captain that you just met his ”little girl” walk away mumbling ”how bad things happen”
* Bring a foghorn, use at crucial moments
* Even if you miss totally--At the top of your lungs scream STEEEEEEEEERIKE
* Bring a small gold idol, demand the other team pray to it.
* Rent all the lanes, don’t bowl
* Rent all the shoes, eat them
* Blatenly Underscore yourself, then accuse the other team of cheating
* When an opponent is on his backswing, race up and take his ball, run home.
* If your team is in the finals, throw nothing but gutterballs, blame platetechtonics
* Trip EVERY member of the opposing team, trip your team, trip everyone
* Wear a baseball uniform, bowl sidearm.
* SuperGlue Police Whistles to the hand-dryers... leave town
* Walk around asking people why they are here, do this the whole night
* Ask to use the house mic. Say you want to make an anoucement, expond on the sins of bowling
* Name your ball something like ”KILLER”, Openly boast to everyone how great you are, bowl terribly. Do this all night
* Sit in your lane and heckle others with a BullHorn.
* Bring a dartgun... Be inventive.
*Wrestle with your ball. (WWF Style) Ask someone to ref.
*Run around sprinkling ”MAGIC FAIRY DUST” on everyone’s balls. Tar works nice.
* Sponsor a Really Big Open Bowl Night, Dont even have a Entrance fee. Advertise it using Every Mass Media known to man, make the 3rd Prize: $10, 000 and a Porshce 2nd Prize: $5, 000 and a trip to Europe 1st Prize: A coffee mug Then sit back a watch the fights..... leave or Cancel the whole thing.
* Hand out Pamphlets on Patetechtonics.
* Bowling is a sport that should be right down your alley.
* If you can’t hear a pin drop, then something is definitely wrong with your bowling.
* Our small town used to have a bowling alley, but somebody stole the pin.
* ”Something is wrong with my bowling delivery,” Tom said gutturally.
* I’ll never bowl with him again. After he got a strike, he spiked the ball.
* If our town didn’t have bowling, there’d be no culture at all.
* I go bowling once every four years to make sure I still hate it.
Johnny’s teacher tells her class, ”Class, I’m going to ask you a question at 2. 55pm every Thursday and whoever answers it correctly will be excused from school on Friday and can enjoy a three-day weekend.”
The students got really excited about this and were anxiously awaiting fro Thursday afternoon to arrive. On Thursday, at precisely 2. 55 pm, the teacher addressed the class. ” Students, this week’s question is ’Who can tell me Pythagorean Theorem?” After a long pause she said, ”Well, I guess I’ll see you all tomorrow.”
The teacher was teasing the childern. She always planned to ask question that no fifth grader could ever answer.
Now Johnny was getting wise to the teacher’s scam. The following Thursday, Johny brought to school both his parent’s bowling balls. At 2. 54, he rolled them down the aisle and they crased into the teacher’s desk. The teacher jumped up, came around the front of the desk and yelled, ”All right, who’s the comedian with the big balls?”
Johnny says, ”Eddie Murphy! See you monday!