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Tourists jokes

A tourist was being led through the

swamps of Florida. ”Is it

true,” he asked, ”that an alligator

won’t attack you if you carry a


”That depends,” replied

the guide, ”on how fast you carry the



Joke #1191 posted in the category: Tourists jokes.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. If you look out of the window on the port, or left, side of the aircraft you will see that the inner engine is on fire just below the fuel tanks in the wing. If you look out at the starboard, or right, wing you will observe that a widening crack has developed at the wing root, making it unlikely that the wing will remain attached to the fuselage. If you look down at the surface of the sea over which the aircraft is flying, you will notice a small orange dot. This is a life-raft. In it are your co-pilot, your flight engineer and myself.

This has been a recorded announcement.


Joke #6626 posted in the category: Tourists jokes.

The weary holiday traveler looked in disbelief at a bunch of mistletoe hanging above the luggage scale at the baggage check-in center... Turning to the attendant he asked, ”Ok, I give up. Why is the mistletoe there above the luggage scale?” The attendant responded, ”So you can kiss your luggage goodbye.”


Joke #6627 posted in the category: Tourists jokes.

A pair of tourists were out in the


when they discovered an abandoned well near an old farm

house. Of course

they’re curious so they drop a small stone into the

well, but they

never hear it hit bottom. They search and find a

larger rock and drop it

into the well but once again hear nothing. They

decide they need

something larger and search the farm yard for a

larger object. After much

struggle, they manage to drag a large

railroad tie to the edge of the well

and drop it over the


After several seconds, a goat tears across the yard and without any

hesitation, dives head first into the open hole. The two tourists stand


amazement. About then a farmer appears and tells them he is

looking for

a lost goat. The tourists tell the farmer about the goat

diving into

the well.

”That couldn’t be my goat”, the farmer

replies, ”My goat was

grazing in the field roped to a railroa

d tie!”


Joke #82508 posted in the category: Tourists jokes.

The Tourists...

Two tourists were driving through Wisconsin. As they were approaching

Oconomowoc, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town’s name.

They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at

the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee. ”Before we order, could

you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we

are... very slowly?

The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said, Burrrrrr, gerrrrrr,



Joke #82601 posted in the category: Tourists jokes.

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