Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. If you look out of the window on the port, or left, side of the aircraft you will see that the inner engine is on fire just below the fuel tanks in the wing. If you look out at the starboard, or right, wing you will observe that a widening crack has developed at the wing root, making it unlikely that the wing will remain attached to the fuselage. If you look down at the surface of the sea over which the aircraft is flying, you will notice a small orange dot. This is a life-raft. In it are your co-pilot, your flight engineer and myself.
This has been a recorded announcement.
The weary holiday traveler looked in disbelief at a bunch of mistletoe hanging above the luggage scale at the baggage check-in center... Turning to the attendant he asked, ”Ok, I give up. Why is the mistletoe there above the luggage scale?” The attendant responded, ”So you can kiss your luggage goodbye.”-0+
A pair of tourists were out in the
when they discovered an abandoned well near an old farm
house. Of course
they’re curious so they drop a small stone into the
well, but they
never hear it hit bottom. They search and find a
larger rock and drop it
into the well but once again hear nothing. They
decide they need
something larger and search the farm yard for a
larger object. After much
struggle, they manage to drag a large
railroad tie to the edge of the well
and drop it over the
After several seconds, a goat tears across the yard and without any
hesitation, dives head first into the open hole. The two tourists stand
amazement. About then a farmer appears and tells them he is
a lost goat. The tourists tell the farmer about the goat
”That couldn’t be my goat”, the farmer
replies, ”My goat was
grazing in the field roped to a railroa
Two tourists were driving through Wisconsin. As they were approaching
Oconomowoc, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town’s name.
They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at
the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee. ”Before we order, could
you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we
are... very slowly?
The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said, Burrrrrr, gerrrrrr,