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Vampire jokes


Q. What Has Webbed Feet And Fangs.
A. Count Quackula.

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Joke #106 posted in the category: Vampire jokes.

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night, covered in fresh blood, and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.

Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to go away and let him get some sleep. However, the bats persisted until finally he gave in.

”OK, follow me,” he said, and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him. Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a forest full of trees. Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him.

”Now, do you see that tree over there?” he asked.

”Yes, yes, yes!” the bats all screamed in a hungry frenzy.

”Good,” said the first bat tiredly, ”Because I didn’t!”

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Joke #830 posted in the category: Vampire jokes.

Once there was a group of vampire bats that lived in a cave outside of a big city.

One night, one said to a another, ? I’m so hungry. I’m going to go get something.?

? No don’t! We have to wait for the others!?

? I don’t care.? And off he went.

About 30 minutes later, he came back and was covered in blood.

The other vampire bat asked, ? WHOA!! Where did you find all that blood??

? You really want to see?? asked the bloody one.? Follow me.?

So the first bat leads the other bat to the city and points to a large black building and asks, ? Do you see that building??

? Yes, ? came the reply.

To that the first says, ? Well, I didn’t.?

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Joke #1612 posted in the category: Vampire jokes.

Three vampires walk into a bar and sit down. The first vampire says, ” I’d like

a pint of blood.”

The second vampire says, ” I’d like a pint of blood, too.”

Then the third vampire says, ” I’d like a pint a plasma.”

Then the bartender says,” OK, so let me get this straight, you want two bloods

and a blood light?”

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Joke #7373 posted in the category: Vampire jokes.

A vampire walks into a bar and asked the bartender for a glass of blood. The bartender goes out and butcher’s a pig, get’s a glass of blood and serves it to the vampire. The vampire drinks it, pays his tab and then leaves.

Next night, vampire walks into a bar and asked the bartender for a glass of blood. The bartender goes out and butcher’s a pig, get’s a glass of blood and serves it to the vampire. The vampire drinks it, pays his tab and then leaves.

Third night vampire walks into the bar asks the bartender for a glass of water, Bartender says to the vampire ”I’m sorry sir, I don’t mean to be rude but your a vampire correct.” Vampire answers yes, Bartender says ”well, the last 2 nights you have came in here and asked fror a glass of blood. What makes you want a glass of blood tonight?”

Vampire pulls out a tamponand says ”tea time”

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Joke #8152 posted in the category: Vampire jokes.

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