Two foreign immigrants have just arrived in the United States by boat and one says to the other, I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs.”
”That’s odd,” her companion replies, ”but if we are going to live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do.”
Nodding emphatically, one of the immigrants points to a hot dog vendor, and they both walk toward the cart. ”Two dogs, please,” she says.
The vendor is only too pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over the counter. Excited, the companions hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their ”dogs.”
One of them opens the foil and begins to blush. Staring at it for a moment, she turns to her friend and whispers cautiously, ”What part did you get?”
There were 3 guys who got caught by the Vietnamese. One a Japanese, one a Chamorro, and one a Bangladesh. The 3 men knew that the Vietnamese are afraid of Mother Nature, so they made a plan. One of the Vietnamese called the Japanese guy. They brought him to a room where they will kill him. The Vietnamese aimed a gun to the Japanese. They said ”Ready, Aim-” Then the Japanese said ”Thunder!” The Vietnamese ran away screaming. The Japanese was free.
Next they took the Chamorro to the same room. They aimed the gun to him and said ”Ready, Aim-” The Chamorro said ”Lightning!” So the Vietnamese ran away again. And the Chamorro was free.
Next they took the Bangladesh to the same room and aimed the gun to him. The Bangladesh was still thinking of what to say. The Vietnamese said ”Ready, Aim-” Then the Bangladesh said ”Fire!”
*BAM* *BAM* The Bangladesh died.
An American GI was fighting in Vietnam. One day he received 2 letters from home, one letter comes from his mom asking for his picture, one letter comes from his girl friend also asking for his picture. He had only 1 picture that he took at a beach standing naked. He didn’t know what to do so he decided to cut the picture into two, the top half he sent to his girl friend.
The bottom half he sent to his mom because he knew his mom had a poor eyesight, she wouldn’t know. When his mom received the bottom half of his naked picture, she sighed: ”Poor my little boy! He has no time to shave his beard. He looks like his father, always has a cigar on his mouth.”
During the Vietnam War, a hillbilly soldier shot about a dozen of the enemy during his first battle.
The Sergeant said, ”How’d you learn to shoot like that? Have you ever been in combat before?”
”Well suh,” drawled the boy, ”To be honest, this is my first public war.”
One day at the end of class little Billy’s teacher has the class go home and think of a story and then conclude ”the moral of that story...”
The next day Billy tells his story.
”My dad fought in the Vietnam war, his plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed with only a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete. On the way down he drank the case of beer. Unfortunately he landed right in the middle of 100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun, but ran out of bullets, so he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more, but the blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands!”
The teacher looks in shock at Billy and asks if there is possibly any moral to his story.
Billy replies, ”Yeah, don’t mess with my dad when he’s been drinking”.