Funny Jokes db

Funny jokes for every day

Viola jokes


What’s the difference between a violin and a viola?
The viola burns longer.

or

The viola holds more beer.

or

You can tune the violin.

-0+

Joke #27852 posted in the category: Viola jokes.

Why do violists leave their instrument cases on the dashboards of their cars?
So they can park in ”handicapped” parking places.
or
If someone mistakes them for mafia, they might get some respect.

-0+

Joke #27853 posted in the category: Viola jokes.

If you throw a violist and a soprano off a cliff, which one would hit the ground first?
Who cares?

-0+

Joke #27854 posted in the category: Viola jokes.

What’s the difference between the first and last desk of a viola section?
half a measure
or
a semi-tone

-0+

Joke #27855 posted in the category: Viola jokes.

Q: What is a chord?
A: Three violists playing in unison.

Q: What is the best recording of the Walton viola concerto?
A: Music Minus One.

Q: What is the difference between a viola and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes before you jump on the trampoline.

Q: What is the difference between the first and last desk of a viola section?
A: Half a measure.

Q: What is the difference between grapes and a viola?
A: You take off your shoes to stamp on grapes. Conductor: Again from measure 5, if you please. Voice from viola section: But Maestro, we have no measure numbers.

Q: What is the difference between a chainsaw and a viola?
A: If you absolutely had to, you could use a chainsaw in a string quartet.

Q: What do you call a person who plays the viola?
A: A violator.

Q: What is the difference between the first and last desk of a viola section?
A: A semi-tone.

Q: Why are violas so large?
A: It is an optical illusion. It’s not that the violas are large, just that the viola player’s heads are so small.

Q: What do you call the folks who hang around the musicians at conservatories?
A: Violists.

Q: What is the difference between a dog and a viola?
A: The dog knows when to stop scratching.

Q: Why can’t you hear a viola on a digital recording?
A: Recording technology has reached such an advanced level of development that all extraneous noise is eliminated.

Q: What is the definition of a major seventh?
A: A violist playing octaves.

Q: How is lightning like a violist’s fingers?
A: Neither one strikes in the same place twice.

Q: Which positions does a violist use?
A: First, third, and emergency.

Q: Why are orchestra intermissions only twenty minutes long?
A: So the violists don’t need to be retrained.

Q: When a 16-inch viola and a 17-inch viola are dropped simultaneously from a 30-story building, which one hits the pavement first?
A: Who cares!

Q: How do you get a viola section to play spiccato?
A: Write a whole note with ”solo” above it.

-0+

Joke #28585 posted in the category: Viola jokes.

Next page »
© Copyright 2017 funnydb.netfunny jokestop jokesbest jokes for everyone