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Waiter jokes

A waiter approached the man studying the menu carefully at the fancy restaurant. ”May I take your order, sir?” he asked.” Well, I was wondering how you prepare your chickens.” The man replied.” Oh, it’s nothing too special, sir,” the waiter confided. ”We just tell them straight out that they`re going to die.”


Joke #3325 posted in the category: Waiter jokes.

Waiter, what is this hare doing in my salad?

I believe he’s eating your lettuce.


Joke #6111 posted in the category: Waiter jokes.

”Waiter! Waiter!” said a guy in a restaurant. 5-55 minutes later. ”Waiter! Waiter!” said the guy. In the kitchen, ”Someone is calling you, sir,” said the cook to the waiter. ”I know. I’m waiting,” said the waiter.


Joke #6983 posted in the category: Waiter jokes.

A very attractive young lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night. Waiting for her date as she was, she wanted to make sure everything was perfect. So, as she bends down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse, she accidentally farts quite loudly just as the waiter walks up.

Sitting up straight now, embarrassed and red faced, knowing everyone in the place heard her, she turns to the waiter and demands, ”Stop that!”

The waiter looks at her dryly and says, ”Sure lady, which way is it headed?”


Joke #16632 posted in the category: Waiter jokes.

There once was a Chinese waiter that worked at a bar. One day a man came in and sat down. The Chinese waiter walked up to him and said,

”Can I get you something?” And the man said ” A coke, please” and so the Chinese waiter went to get the coke. He came back and gave the coke to the man and awaited as he drank it. Then the man spat it out, and the Chinese waiter burst out in laughter and said, ”Me Chinese, me play joke, me put Pee Pee in your coke!” For the Chinese waiter had placed pee into the man’s coke and the man left angrily.

And so the Chinese waiter continued his joke on and on again, customer after customer. Soon enough a cowboy stopped by and the Chinese waiter came up to him and asked if he could get him something and the cowboy said, ”a coke” and so the Chinese waiter went and brought him one, as he waited for the cowboys reaction. Then the cowboy spat it out very angrily. Then the Chinese waiter said while laughing, ”Me Chinese, me play joke, me put pee-pee in your coke!” and then the angry Cowboy replied,

”Me Cowboy, me draw fast, me stick bullet up your @$$!”


Joke #20309 posted in the category: Waiter jokes.

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